


It's Only Us Now

by DameCryver



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Blood, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 19:56:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11630778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DameCryver/pseuds/DameCryver
Summary: In a post-apocalyptic world where zombies roam the earth, Lim Changkyun finds himself in what's probably the safest place on the planet - a library guarded by a ten foot tall steel chained fence. It's perfect - a fence to block off zombies, wide spice to move, and books for endless entertainment. Changkyun could easily get comfortable and call this place his home.Except it's already the home of a certain bookworm known as Chae Hyungwon...





	It's Only Us Now

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!! I'm so happy I can finally post this, I've been writing it for over a year! And by that I mean spending a few months writing it and even more months completely avoiding it lmao. Something urged me today to finish it, but bc I wasn't too motivated it kinda has a really lame ending, but I just wanted to finish it asap. 
> 
> I'm glad I did tho bc im really proud of it. Warning tho, I didn't proof read one last time so there are probs a lotta typos especially towards the end lol 
> 
> Also HUGE WARNING!!! PLZ READ!! 
> 
> It's a zombie AU so there's gonna be a lotta bloody gory stuff. Not too bad bc im not the best author, but if you're not good with those kinda things I suggest u avoid 
> 
> ANOTHER HUGE WARNING!!! 
> 
> There is a point where some characters are found dead. And there's even one character death in it. If you don't wanna see/read someone get killed plz avoid, I wouldn't blame you! 
> 
> FINAL WARNING!!! BIGGEST ONE PLZ READ!! 
> 
> There is a point where one of the main characters considers committing suicide. If you really can't stand that I beg you to not read it, I know it's a very touchy subject so i thought it's be best to warn you. 
> 
> Also, last and kinda the least important warning, almost all the books mentioned in the story are made up, I personally don't read a lot of books so I kinda just made things up as I went lol
> 
> With that outta the way, enjoy!!!!

Changkyun has a number of things he regrets in his life. He can willingly admit that he's done some stupid shit growing up that he wishes he could take back or at least do over. Maybe even stop himself from doing. He regretted sneaking out of the house when he was a dumb teenager and scaring his mom half to death when she couldn't find her only son. Seeing her cry over his safety pained him to no end. He regrets getting wasted at a senior graduation party someone at his school threw - something his father punished him so severely for both illegally drinking and returning home in such a state that Changkyun decided he'd never let himself get that drunk ever again. He regretted never applying for the prestigious college of his dreams, discouraged by his adequate grades.

 

There were countless other things he regretted in his life which were both big and small.

 

He regrets forgetting to feed his pet goldfish for days and letting it starve to death (in his defense, he had been cramming all week for finals). He regrets wasting an entire paycheck on trivial things and food. He regrets ignoring the pain in his leg which led to him having to have surgery done and be hospitalized for a month and some when he was younger. An ugly scar on said leg is an annoying reminder of how utterly bored he was in that month of recovery.

 

Changkyun regrets leaving home when the ‘zombie’ outbreak began, or so they called it. Except he doesn't. Except he does. He knows leaving his home town was the best choice, it was a large city that was heavily populated and with _that_ many people walking around it was easy to fall victim of the infected. The disease broke out and spread like wildfire in his city and in a matter of days most of the population had turned. Living in a large city like that with infected at every corner wasn't how Changkyun wanted to live. With the whole world overtaken by the disease, he didn't have too much hope of living anywhere that wasn't the same, but any place was better than a city where 85% of its population was infected. Changkyun will forever be grateful for being lucky enough to be the 15% that hadn't turned. But he didn't want to live in fear of falling into the majority of the population, and if that meant leaving the city he'd grown to love than so be it. He doesn't regret leaving in favor of his own safety.

 

However, he _did_ regret leaving his family behind in favor of that supposed safety. Changkyun begged his parents to join him and his close friend, Kihyun, but they refused, claiming that they were too old to be traveling miles upon miles on foot. So they sent their son off with promises of their safety, and Changkyun did the same. He regrets not trying harder to make them tag along, but his own desire to survive got the better of him and he left soon after they had refused the first two times. The guilt constantly eats at him and he wishes he'd tried harder to make them tag along; he misses them so much. And the possibility of his own parents becoming infected was always on his mind. Changkyun felt like he'd go insane constantly worrying about them.

 

On top of that, he regrets bringing Kihyun along, but that's a story for another time.

 

Because in the situation Changkyun was currently in, his biggest regret was letting himself be a lure to so many God damn zombies. What was worse, he didn't even know _how_ he got into this situation, the only thing certain was that he was being so stupidly careless that he now had a handful of sprinting infected behind him.

 

This wasn't new to Changkyun. He'd ran with everything he had away from a couple zombies before a number of times (he used to narrowly escape five times the number of zombies behind him, _this_ was child's play to him ). Hell, even before the outbreak he's been in cases where he had to run away from a couple of thugs who tried to mug him when he was younger, so he put all that experience of running away into this moment, holding onto the last bit of hope he had of getting away. The hard pounding of his heart, the fear of being eaten alive he felt, the desperation to get away were unfortunately all too familiar to him.

 

The adrenaline running through his veins pushed him to run as fast as he could, as hard as he could, despite how exhausted his body would feel when he would (or could in this case) take a break when it were safe. His heart pounded at a high speed and if it weren't for the screaming hoard behind him, he'd probably be able to hear his own heart beat through his ears.

 

That was always Changkyun’s strong point - running away. Though he hated to admit it, he was small and agile in comparison to others his age, quick and light on his feet making for a great escape. Sure, he could fight but it wasn't something he liked to do if he could avoid it (especially against more than an infected or two) . It could be considered cowardice to some, but he'd rather play it safe than risk becoming infected with a disease that'll eat at his brain and turn him into a walking corpse.

 

It felt like he'd been running for hours - for all he knew he probably has and Changkyun’s legs were starting to feel heavy. His pace was beginning to slow down and he felt himself panic, he had to find a safe place and quick.

 

This was a fairly small town he found himself in, and deserted at that from what he'd seen, but every house he tried to camp out in had an infected just waiting for its prey. He hadn't found a safe place to rest since he got there, and that was hours ago. Despite that, this was still significantly better than the city he used to live in. He was at least able to walk in peace for some time before an infected appeared.

 

But Changkyun was desperate now, turning his head left and right, frantically searching for a house, building, anything that seemed safe and away from the infected when he came across an odd building that seemed like it was specifically made to keep the zombies out.

 

It wasn't a house - honestly he wasn't sure what it was and frankly didn't have the time to think about it - but around it stood a chain linked fence with barbed wires at the top. Everything on the inside seemed almost untouched by the disgusting reality they lived in. The grass, although now tall from countless months of being uncut, was a vivid green. The sidewalk that lead to the doors still had its gray color, an odd sight to see compared to the blood splattered ground Changkyun was unfortunately used to.

 

He made a sharp and sudden turn that caused him to slip and almost fall , but immediately regained his composure. He went back to running with everything he had, making his way towards the fence.

 

Changkyun jumped onto the fence and climbed upward as quickly as his tired legs allowed him. It was a tall fence - almost ten feet tall from what the brunette could tell if not taller - and when he was almost at the top he could feel it shake underneath him. Changkyun quickly tightened his grip and pulled himself closer to the fence in fear of falling off. Looking down, he saw the infected were all crashing into the fence mindlessly, arms outstretched towards him. The sight only pushed him to climb faster and he had to bare his teeth when he came into contact with the barbed wire.

 

In the heat of the moment, Changkyun hastily jumped over it - a big mistake given how tall the fence was and how weak his tired legs already were. Needless to say his landing wasn't the softest.

 

Despite the pain he quickly got up - who knows how long this fence could hold them off and frankly he didn't want to find out. Though from the looks of how well kept the building is, they seemed quite reliable. But Changkyun wasn't willing to test his luck today so he made his way towards the entrance and tried pulling at the doors - locked.

 

With an irritated groan, he makes his way around the building in hopes of finding an alternative entrance. The windows were all too high to try to break and jump into for his small stature. As Changkyun looked around he noted that this building seemed to be open to the public before the outbreak. A restaurant perhaps? A museum?

 

Finally he made his way to the back and found a large dumpster with its lid closed. Using that he can probably make it to the window.

 

Climbing on the dumpster, he tried opening the window to no avail - locked. Another annoyed sigh escaped his lips before he decided that the roof was probably his next best bet. He stood on his toes and extended his arms to grab hold of the edge of the roof, hoping for a way in from there. The brunette pulled himself up and scanned the roof, finding a single small sun roof in the corner.

 

Changkyun was by no means a religious man, but he mentally begged to any almighty being that might be listening to him for this window to be able to open.

 

Walking up to it he kneeled down and pulled at it and - frustratingly enough - it was locked.

 

Changkyun screamed into the night sky in utter frustration - he just wanted to rest. He was tired and sweaty from so much goddamn running, his legs felt like lead and they'd only feel worse the next day, his whole body was in pain from exerting himself, his hands cut up and bloody from the barbed wire, he just wanted to treat his wounds and lay down for forty years and never get up. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently so.

 

Out of desperation, he pulled out his sledge hammer from his bag and swung at the window, the glass breaking easily under the weight of his weapon. He wanted to avoid breaking into the building if he could have, not wanting to taint it from how pure it seemed in this fucked up world, but at this point he didn't care. He cleared the glass as to not hurt himself any further before carefully pulling himself down. He paused to simply hang from the sun roof and scan the area just to be safe. It was dark but he could faintly see thanks to the moon's lighting outside. It was hard to tell, but it seemed empty. To his surprise there were countless shelves filled to the brim with books, making it difficult to really determine if it were safe or not. A library?

 

Arms getting tired, he decided it was safe enough and he looked below him, seeing where the pool of glass he broke lay a couple feet below him. Hoping his boots would be thick enough to keep his feet safe, he let go and fell, landing much more smoothly than he had just a few moments ago.

 

He stayed still for a few minutes crouched on the floor, waiting for any sound to be made indicating an infected. When all seemed to stay quiet aside from the now faint screams of the infected outside, he let out a sigh a relief before standing up. He'll scan the area real quick just to be extra safe and from there he can finally re-

 

CLICK

 

Changkyun felt his heart drop at the familiar sound of a gun releasing it's safety, ready to fire at will. Not even a second later he felt the light pressure of said gun pushed against the back of his head and his blood ran cold.

 

In that moment Changkyun regretted hastily breaking the sunroof to get in. Of course the loud sound of glass breaking would have alerted someone. The person must have gone into hiding the second they heard it because Changkyun was sure the place was empty. On top of that, they seemed to use the darkness to their advantage, but Changkyun didn't even hear the person walk up to him. No footsteps were heard, nothing! How was this person able to sneak up on Changkyun?

 

“Put your bag and any weapon you have on you on the floor. Now.” a male's voice spoke, and he pushed the gun deeper into Changkyun’s head as if to say ‘get on with it’.

 

Gulping, Changkyun could only find it in himself to nod before slowly removing his bag from his back and placing it on the floor. He removed all hidden weapons from his possession and did the same, dropping everything around his feet. He hoped that maybe if he complied with everything the man said, he'd let him live. Though it wasn't a strong hope, with the infected it's only lead to people becoming more greedy in desperation to survive, making people turn on each other. Changkyun knew all too well at this point how far a person would go to save themselves.

 

This was another thing Changkyun was used to - running into people whose first instinct was to fight for survival. In the cruel world they currently lived in, it was only natural. People grew to distrust each other, no longer seeing any stranger as just that, but as an immediate threat. See a person wandering alone and it had become the norm to ambush them and take whatever goods they had that could be of use, but see a group of four or more people and it was best to avoid them. Anything to better one's own survival. And the brunettes had his fair share of fights against his own kind, which is why he preferred to travel alone, despite how dangerous it was. He'd rather avoid any more betrayal from those he thought he could trust than to continue to travel in groups like most people seemed to do. At most he could deal with one other person, two if he was really tolerant of them.

 

With his free hand the man grabbed at one of Changkyun’s arms and twisted it painfully against his back before roughly nudging him forward. “Walk.  And don't try anything funny or I will kill you.” the voice said in a low voice and the brunette did as told, slowly moving forward.

 

The male holding him hostage lead him down a set of stairs and to a room that, in Changkyun’s opinion, seemed to be like that of a break room. It was a small room with a fridge, microwave, sink, a few cabinets here and there and a table but no chairs to sit on around it.

 

Before the brunette could further analyze the room, the male behind him pushed him onto the floor, making him fall to his knees before he felt a sharp kick in his side, making him fall completely onto his other side. Changkyun hissed in pain, grabbing hold of where he was kicked and glared up at the man.

 

To Changkyun’s utter surprise, it was a man not much older than him. He wasn't sure who he expected his capturer to be but it definitely wasn't a man so tall and scrawny. For someone as lanky as he was, he sure had a strong kick.. He had dark black hair that was full of grime from probably countless days of being unable to wash it that hung just above his eyes. Speaking of which, he had unusually big eyes with a color that almost matched that of his hair.

 

The man crouched down to meet eye level and Changkyun instinctively backed away, only for his back to be met with the wall. The man held a cold look in his dark eyes and they narrowed before he lifted the gun and placed it under the brunettes chin. “Who are you, and how did you get here?”

 

Changkyun opened his mouth to reply but found that nothing came out, only to cause the man's eyes to narrow even more so. He cleared his throat and tried again, hoping to not anger the man any more than he already seemed to be. “M-my names Lim Changkyun. I came from a town south of here and just stumbled across this place. I was looking for a place to camp out and found myself here.”

 

The man searched his face as if looking for anything that'd tell him he were lying. After a long while, he finally asked, “Are you alone?” the brunette nodded, and his answer seemed to surprise the other male before he scoffed. “Traveling alone is one of the stupidest things a person could do. Tell me the truth,” he roughly rammed the gun into the others chin again, gaining a whimper of fear and slight pain from Changkyun. “Where are the others?”

 

“I-I swear there's no one with me!” he quickly says, holding his hands up in defense.

 

“And how do I know you're not lying? How do I know someone's not gonna barge in here like you did and kill me, huh?”

 

“I… I don't know, you'll just have to trust me!” the words spilled out of his mouth before he could really consider just how ridiculous he sounded.

 

The man bitterly chuckled in response, “You must think I'm some idiot to be able to tell me those words..”

 

With that the man grabbed some rope and tied Changkyun against one of the legs of the table, much to his protest. Once he made sure that the brunette wouldn't be able to get away from his spot on the floor, the man left for a few moments only to return with one of the books from the library and settled on the floor across from Changkyun, facing each other. Before opening the book, he tells him, “Sorry kid, but I don't exactly trust you, so Ima just keep you there until I deem it's safe enough to let you go. People have tried killing us to be able to live here a number of times, so I can't be so naive as to just trust you so easily.”

 

“And at what point will that be?”

 

The man shrugs before opening the book, “If what you say is true and no one comes by, then maybe I'll let you go, maybe even let you stay here for all I care so long as you don't try to kill me.”

 

“I wouldn't, I don't like fighti-”

 

“You can try to defend yourself all you want, it's not gonna change anything. Now be quiet.”

 

There's a few seconds of silence and the brunette can't help but feel hopeless. After a whole day of being on the run, all he wanted was to find a place and rest. Instead he was being held hostage by some stuck up pretty boy who was too cautious for his own good. Not that he can blame him. No, Changkyun couldn't blame him at all, he understood all too well where he was coming from. They didn't know each other at all, and this man was just playing it safe, no amount of words would convince him that Changkyun is harmless. If their situations were switched and Changkyun was the one who had tied the other up, he'd be reluctant to listen to a single word from him too, so he stayed put. If it were him, obedience would be the best way to gain his trust, so maybe the man will let him go the less he fights him.

 

Changkyun frowned as he realized something and it took him a moment to find the courage to address his revelation, worried he'd anger the man.  “You know, you said traveling alone is stupid but..  I don't exactly see anyone else around here… “

 

The man visibly tensed and Changkyun couldn't miss the look of unease cross his face momentarily. “I had a friend with me when we got here, but a few days ago he left to search for more food and.. Well, he hasn't returned yet..” those last few words seemed almost painful for him to say. His big eyes turned to Changkyun and there was a small glint of hope in them, “You didn't happen to see another person before you got here… did you?”

 

Changkyun shook his head and the disappointment in his face made him feel guilty despite not doing anything wrong, “No. It's nothing but infected out there from what I saw…”

 

“I see…”

 

There was silence again but instead of returning to the book, the man just seemed to stare at the floor with an unreadable expression. Clearing his throat, Changkyun says, “Uhm.. I know we're not exactly on friend level but..  You haven't told me your name..”

 

The man looked up in slight surprise when he heard the brunette, taken out of his trance. “Oh. Chae Hyungwon.” was all he said before looking back down at the book and picking up where he'd left off.

__________________________________

No words were said to each other afterwards, Hyungwon in too deep into the book to even acknowledge him anymore and Changkyun just grateful for the time to rest.  He hadn't even realized that in the hours of silence between the two he had fallen asleep despite the terribly uncomfortable position he was in, the exhaustion from running all day finally getting to him.

 

He wasn't sure what time it was when he woke up or for how many hours he slept but he found himself alone in the room, his capturer nowhere to be seen. Unable to go back to sleep he simply sat there and waited for Hyungwon to return, not that it'd do him any good, but what else could the brunette do?

 

He waited for what felt like hours before fear started to get to him. Had Hyungwon left him here tied up to just die while he was asleep? Left him there to never return to as some sick joke even after the promise of being released at some point? Was he really left alone to die _again._

 

Panicking, Changkyun began to struggle and twist in his spot against the table in hopes of loosening the rope to escape. He can't stay here alone like this! This isn't how he wanted to die. He didn't survive months on his own just to die tied against a table like th-

 

Suddenly something hard hit him against his head and he froze at the sight of a book falling in front of him. He looked up to see Hyungwon glaring down at him. It took Changkyun a moment to realize that he had thrown the book at him. “Stop struggling or I'll keep you there for a week even if you're innocent.”

 

As the tall male walked over to pick up the book, Changkyun had to hold in his sigh of relief to see his capturer. “I thought you left me here.”

 

Hyungwon sat back down in his usual spot and opened the book. “Anyone else probably would have.”

 

Unsure of what he meant by that, Changkyun decided to ignore it before saying, “Where were you?” though he didn't exactly expect a response.

 

However to his surprise, the older male simply said, “On the roof.” without looking up from his book.

 

“What for?”

 

With a slightly irritated sigh, Hyungwon closes the book, keeping a finger between the pages of where he left off and looks at him. He couldn't read and talk. “Just on the lookout for any other humans around.”

 

Changkyun was surprised by how honest Hyungwon was. Anyone else would have just ignored him or yelled at him to shut up, but the taller male answered everything he asked earnestly. So he saw no reason to not continue. “You still suspect me of having comrades or… are you waiting on someone?”

 

“Both.”

 

“Your friend?”

 

“.. Yeah.”

 

_______________________________

It had been four days now since Wonho left in search of food and needless to say Hyungwon was worried for his friend. He had offered to go with him but Wonho insisted he stay behind at the library so that no one else claim it from them. They've worked too hard to just let their new home be taken from them.

 

They were only in the library for a little less than a month when their food started to run short and Wonho left. Now it's been four days and the older of the two has failed to return.

 

In this day and age - the days of the infected roaming most of the earth - when a person hasn't been seen for quite some time it was natural to assume that they were dead. It was the safest bet, either dead or had ran off on their own. They were the only two conclusions a person could come to.

 

And Hyungwon doubted that it was the latter. He knew Wonho better than anybody, and if one thing was for certain it was that Wonho wasn't the type to travel alone. He liked being around people, thrived off of other people's company even.

 

But he didn't even like the idea of the former either. Just the thought of Wonho being eaten alive or even worse, becoming infected, made the taller males stomach twist with horrible uneasiness. He'd prefer Wonho betray him and leave him on his own than for Wonho be dead…

 

Since the day Wonho left Hyungwon has been sitting outside atop the roof for hours just waiting and hoping for his friends return. They lived in a cruel world, but if it could pay him one favor, it would be the safe return of his friend. So far, his request had been ignored…

 

Even worse, when Hyungwon heard footsteps on the roof the night before he had become filled with so much joy that he was ready to cry, ecstatic to have his friend return. However when he heard the sunroof break - something he and Wonho had found keys for their first night there- all his hopes had been crushed. Instead of his best friend a stranger had broken in, and it felt like the world had just pulled some sick prank on him. He was angry and upset, taking it all out on Changkyun when he'd first arrived. Even though the shorter male was no longer a threat to him the second he dropped his weapons, he still treated Changkyun quite harshly, and at that moment he didn't care.

 

He knew he'd have to give up at some point, knew he'd have to accept that Wonho may not return and leave to find his own food soon because the reality was still there; they were running short on food.

 

And now with the stranger who broke into the library around, he had another mouth to feed. He wasn't about to let him starve, Hyungwon was by no means a cruel person like that, but he knew if he did so it'd cut the food he had for himself by a half. While his hostage was asleep he tried going through his bag only to find a few canned goods and bottled waters. If Changkyun wanted to stay at the library even after his release, this could last them a few more days before he'd have to go out and find more.

_________________________________

They spent the whole next day in silence again, only talking when they ate. And even then it wasn't anything meaningful. Since the older still didn't trust Changkyun, he decided it'd be safer to feed him by hand than to release him to eat himself. Changkyun was embarrassed to say the least, having to be fed by another person, it felt ridiculous, but he still didn't blame the taller man for playing it safe. Surprisingly enough, Hyungwon didn't seem to take the things from his bag. He expected him to take everything for himself, but he left it, the food in his bag only consumed by its rightful owner, Changkyun.

 

However he noticed that Hyungwon himself was hardly eating throughout the whole day. While Changkyun had eaten about two times that whole day, the older only ate once, and even then it was too small of a portion to fill anyone up.

 

He wondered if maybe he didn't have much food left of his own, which only confused him more. If a person was running short on food, they take from another, it was _normal._ Yet Hyungwon seemingly refused to do so, despite clearly not eating enough for himself.

 

“You…” Changkyun started, gaining the older mans attention from his book, “Haven't been eating much…” it was more of a statement than a question. Hyungwon seemed surprised that he even noticed, but didn't say anything. “Are you running short?”

 

“Why does it matter to you?” Hyungwon spat, suddenly on the defense.

 

“It's just… I have food to spare, enough for both of us to last a few days. I don't mind sharing.”

 

Hyungwon raised a brow at Changkyun in slight disapproval, “You're offering your capturer some of your food…?” he asked, tone hinting that the shorter was a complete idiot.

 

Despite how ridiculous it sounded, Changkyun simply nodded, “I mean if you don't want any, all the better for me but… I can't exactly have the person who determines my freedom to die from starvation…”

 

For the first time since he'd been stuck with him, Changkyun hears Hyungwon laugh genuinely. It was a short lived laugh, but an honest laugh nonetheless, no bitterness behind it and the brunette could feel a small smile tug at his lips from the sight of the taller male smiling. It was almost nice to hear in comparison to the silence between them. It also suit the older of the two better to smile- better than when he was glaring holes into Changkyun at least.

 

“You have a point there, kid. This isn't your way of getting me to trust you is it?” he finally says after he calms down, a playful smile still tugging at his lips.

 

“Maybe…” the shorter admitted, only to gain another light chuckle from Hyungwon.

 

“At least you're honest.”

 

“Is it working?”

 

Hyungwon just shrugged and went back to his book. The brunette was surprised that the older didn't immediately go to his bag and get food considering how little he'd been eating. He decided he would eventually since Hyungwon didn't exactly reject his offer.

 

“I only offered because…” the shorter started in a small voice, gaining his capturer’s attention once more. He wasn't sure why, but he felt the need to better justify his actions to the taller one, to show that he was really okay with him taking some of his food. “I know what it feels like to be starving. It's shit and I don't like the thought of anyone going through it, especially if I can prevent it. Someone helped me in my time of need so… I feel like I should help you.”

_________________________________

Hyungwon stared wide eyed at the shorter, a bit taken aback from his sudden sob story. Was that a story? It was more like a very brief summary of one.

 

What was up with this kid? He was seriously offering the person who kicked him and tied him up his food, and still saying that he should help Hyungwon. At first the taller took it as a joke - a way to bribe Hyungwon into releasing him sooner, but that apparently wasn't the case considering how sincere Changkyun’s eyes were. Maybe Hyungwon was just selfish, but he'd never offer anyone who'd hurt him anything. Maybe he would have in the past, before hell broke loose over the world, but not anymore. He had learned to leave people to die if need be in favor of his own survival, something he wasn't sure if he should be proud of or not. To no longer have any sympathy for those who weren't in his immediate travel group. It helped him from feeling bad to watch those he didn't know be sacrificed in favor of his survival. He assumed that at this point, everyone was the same; do what you must to survive.

 

And yet Changkyun was offering some of his food regardless. Something vital for his survival, to Hyungwon, who has done nothing but treated him as shit. It's as if what happened wasn't even taken into consideration. He just wanted to help.

 

Hyungwon found himself bursting out laughing again and the shorter stared at him in confusion, clearly not expecting it. Was there something funny about what he said? When the taller calmed down, he said with a grin, “You're too nice for your own good, you know that kid?”

 

Changkyun frowned a bit at that. Was it a compliment or an insult?

 

Hyungwon continued, “But… I guess you could say you've won a bit of my trust.” he admitted and a look of surprise flashed in Changkyun’s eyes. Hyungwon got up, placing his book on the floor and started to walk towards him, Changkyun watching him carefully. “I've never been offered food before by anyone unless it were my friends, so I think it's safe to say you're not as fucked up as the rest of the world is in my opinion.” He explains as he starts to untie the shorter. “But the second you try anything suspicious, I'm not hesitating to tie you up again or, depending on what you do, kill you, got it?”

 

The shorter quickly nodded his head. “Understood.” he said before really considering what Hyungwon was saying and he frowned a bit, “Wait, you're really gonna let me stay here?” Changkyun expected Hyungwon to kick him out of his library the second he was released with a threat to never return. He didn't actually think he'd get the chance to stay here.

 

Hyungwon shrugged after finally getting the rope off his hands and Changkyun immediately started to rub his wrists, soothing the soreness away. “I mean you're free to leave, I don't care. But I don't mind you staying here so long as, you know, you don't try to kill me. My friend and I always did try to find people who could join us, you wouldn't be the worst addition to our group. And anyways, it's safe here.”

 

Changkyun just stared up at him and surprise. They locked eyes for a few seconds and when he realized he was staring he quickly turned his attention on to the floor. With a light chuckle, he said, “And I'm the one too nice for his own good?”

________________________________

Two days passed together with Changkyun free and it was uneasy to say the least, if not completely awkward. Hyungwon was still on edge around him, clearly still suspicious of the shorter male. Which didn't exactly surprise him, Changkyun wouldn't be very accepting of someone he didn't know too well living with him either. He would probably be wary of Hyungwon even now if he didn't prove himself harmless when they first met. Because if Hyungwon really wanted to he would have killed Changkyun the second he broke in. Anyone would have. Hell, Changkyun might have had he been in his shoes. But he didn't. Changkyun was already trusting of Hyungwon to bring him no harm.

 

On top of that his refusal to steal what belonged to Changkyun proved him to be genuinely kind, despite seeming to put up some harsh front in hopes of intimidating the younger. Frankly it worked the first few days. But now Changkyun had noticed that the older was by no means a bad person. In his opinion, it was a pleasant surprise, because every other healthy person he had met were all shit heads. Hyungwon was distant and avoiding, but he didn't actively pick fights with the younger or get angry at him, he just minded his own business.

 

In the days spent together Changkyun had even began to notice silly quirks that the older has when minding his own business. Hyungwon, while reading, will show evident reactions to whatever was going on in the book. Changkyun could make rough guesses of what might be happening in said book just by watching him. When his eyes slightly widened before his brows furrowed, Changkyun would guess that something surprising just happened, a plot twist perhaps? When Hyungwon pursed his lips at an angle, narrowing his eyes, he assumed something intense was happening. When his lips were pressed together in a tight line and his grip was unusually tighter on the book he guessed that something heart wrenching was happening. His little facial expressions were amusing to watch, almost endearing to Changkyun.

 

When Hyungwon would walk through the library to get to the rooftop, he'd always run a hand across the spines of the books he passed without fail. Every night. Everytime he went out. If Changkyun could manage to stay awake long enough, he'd be able to see Hyungwon do it when he came back in as well.

 

Changkyun wasn't sure what to do with himself most of the time there. His first night he explored the entire library to try to get familiar with the layout of the place after treating his old wounds. It wasn't too large of a library at all, he's seen stores bigger than it but even then it still felt like it had a large collection with the amount of shelves there were. There were a handful of computers that weren't operable thanks to the lack of electricity, and a small area with couches and tables sitting around for those who wanted to relax and read. Hyungwon told him that that's where he and his friend would sleep, Hyungwon on the larger couch since he had the taller frame, and Wonho on the recliner chair, if not the floor. Changkyun was allowed to sleep wherever he wanted.

 

Speaking of sleep, he noticed the older slept a LOT. He also had an unusual amount of trouble waking up. Hyungwon would start to wake up, fall back to sleep, rinse and repeat. It was almost adorable to watch him try to get outta bed, walk around still half asleep, hair in every direction, eyes half lidded. Changkyun wondered how this man was before the apocalypse. Was he often late to school? Did his mother struggle to get him out of bed every morning? He assumed so.

 

They wouldn't ever go to sleep together. Changkyun found that Hyungwon would stay up on the roof top very late. He had tried waiting for him the first night but ended up falling asleep before his return, only to find him curled up in his couch when he woke up. Hyungwon wouldn't wake up till many hours later, and in that time, Changkyun would search the library for a book and read.

 

They ate together only when Changkyun suggested they do so. The brunette had taken note that Hyungwon would often forget to eat, that or maybe he was still uneasy about eating food that didn't belong to him, so Changkyun had to be the one to sit them down to eat. They'd both sit on the floor of the kitchen across from each other and eat in silence, staring at the floor or at their food but never at each other.

 

Changkyun had already gotten used to Hyungwon’s silent treatment but wondered if it was out of spite of not wanting to get along or just being too awkward to start a conversation. He assumed it was the latter or maybe even a mixture of the two. The few times they did talk however, Changkyun’s attempts at light conversation finally paying off, it was always short, meaningless conversations. He wondered if they'd ever have a decent talk.

 

Changkyun was not a sociable person by nature, he was quiet and it took some time to open up to others. He wasn't one to approach people first, he wasn't good at it, but he didn't mind people wanting to befriend him. If anything he opened up easier that way knowing that someone was putting the effort into getting to know him better.

 

But from the looks of it it seemed that Hyungwon wasn't going to be that person. From what he's gathered it's either he, like Changkyun, isn't comfortable with befriending people or he simply didn't want to.

 

But they couldn't be awkward and silent around each other forever, especially if Changkyun was going to be staying here at the library with him.

 

So on the third night, Changkyun decided in a different approach in hopes of getting closer with the older male. Considering how much of a book worm Hyungwon was, what better topic to bring up than of literature?

 

To Changkyun’s pleasure, it worked. Changkyun noticed that Hyungwon always beamed and had a completely different attitude when asked about a book he was reading. So when all else failed he'd question what he was reading this time, or what had happened in the recent pages he'd read. Changkyun would use Hyungwon’s visible reactions as an opening to strike up a question. Hyungwon would then go into detail about a specific part that caught him off guard, completely surprising the older. “I thought _this_ would happen but instead _that_ happened!” was generally how it went. Other times, Changkyun would ask for brief summaries of each book he read, genuinely interested, and the taller male would happily comply. He'd go into deep detail about what the story was about without giving away too much and give his own personal opinion about said book (“All the people who rated this book said it was amazing and a ‘must read’, so I kinda raised my expectations a bit more than I probably should have and it didn't exactly meet them, you know? Not that it's bad or anything! But definitely not worthy of number one book in Korea..”) and Changkyun listened to every word said.

 

He liked this side of Hyungwon. This side of him - the happy side that was seemingly so passionate about books and a good story, the side that animatedly moved his arms to gesture different things, who smiled fondly when talking about a specifically enjoyable story, and who's eyes would brighten at the topic of a book, the _talkative_ side - wasn't at all like the merciless man he'd met just a few days prior. The deep, dark voice that threatened to take Changkyun’s life didn't sound like the cheerful one he was listening to talk about a piece of literature. Changkyun found that he liked this side of him a _lot._

 

But no matter what he tried to talk about, he could only get a glimpse of Hyungwon’s passionate side when talking about a book, and Changkyun could only question the same book so many times.

 

On the sixth night that he was free, Changkyun walked up to the older who was reading (of course) and asked if he could recommend him something to read. He hoped that this could get him and Hyungwon to have another nice conversation, to see those shining eyes once more, and to also help him find a book that would pique his own interest. Changkyun tried searching the library himself but every book he picked up never really caught his attention to well and he wouldn't finish it.

 

However, instead of seeing Hyungwon beam at the topic of books, he had frowned in confusion. “Well… I _could,_ but I'm not sure what you even like…”

 

Changkyun stiffened at that. The older was right, it's not like they'd ever spoken about personal interest. The most Changkyun knew when it came to that about the other was that he liked mystery stories and classics. He loved stories about murder mysteries but also loved anything written by Shakespeare.

 

But Hyungwon never asked about what Changkyun liked.

 

“I like fantasy stories I guess.” the brunette says with a shrug.

 

“With like, swords and magic and stuff?”

 

Changkyun nodded.

 

Hyungwon nodded thoughtfully. “Do you know Harry Potter?”

 

Well that was a dumb question. Who _didn't_ know about the Harry Potter series. “Yeah, but I've seen all the movies so I don't think reading the books would mean much.”

 

“Movies don't always follow the books from word to word, but I see where you're coming from. It's never as enjoyable when you at least have a vague idea of what's going to happen.” Hyungwon looked up thoughtfully, trying to think of other books he could recommend to the younger. He suddenly closed his book and stood up, gesturing for Changkyun to follow him. “Here, let's look through the fantasy section and try to pull something out together, yeah?”

 

Changkyun eagerly nodded, following the older behind closely. The younger felt joy from this accomplishment, he was about to have more than just a one sided conversation with the older.

 

They sat down together in the fantasy section and pulled out random books, looking at the cover, reading the summaries and the reviews each book had. They'd look at it together and they'd both give their first impressions of it. Changkyun would suggest that this specific book seemed interesting, and Hyungwon would either agree and blatantly disagree (“A prince saving a princess is a bit cliche, don't you think?”). Hyungwon would pull out a book he'd recognize and summarize it for Changkyun, some he had liked, and others that he didn't. (“I wouldn't recommend this one, it's boring and slow and the main character dies a very melodramatic death, one star out of five to be honest,” or “This one's about a princess who saves her Kingdom if you're into that. I liked it.”)

 

They spent a lot of time together like that discussing books so neither noticed the sun beginning to set outside. Finally, Changkyun found something that piqued his interest a little more than the other books he and Hyungwon looked at together and he held it up to the older, “This one's says that it's about a warrior who actually fails at his quest and doesn't end up saving the kingdom or his beloved princess. Aren't these books usually supposed to have a happy ending?”

 

Hyungwon took the book out of his hand and examined it for himself. “Says it's a tragedy, which means the hero doesn't win it all. Kind of like Hamlet. Did you read Hamlet while you were in high school?”

 

“Yeah, my senior year. Does that mean everyone's gonna die?” he looked back down at the book, eyes wide with unease and a bit of interest.

 

Hyungwon shrugged, “That's something you're gonna have to read and find out for yourself.”

 

With that, Changkyun had decided to take that book for himself. He returned to the giant bean bag he had been sleeping in for the past few days and curled up comfortable to begin reading.

 

He half expected Hyungwon to do the same on his couch. He was almost eager to read quietly while in the other presence, but instead the taller male went straight to the rooftop again and stayed up there for hours. The brunette would be lying if he said he wasn't even a little disappointed to be left alone like so after having their first real conversation. It honestly felt like they had gotten at least a little closer, so the younger let himself revel in the accomplishment. Changkyun had gotten through about half the book before he passed out.

 

The next night when Hyungwon was on the roof and Changkyun found himself unable to sleep he decided to join the taller one outside. He had nothing better to do, and anyways, it'd make for a great opportunity to get to talk for a bit. At least that's what he was hoping for and if not that, a little stargazing would be nice. He needed some fresh air after being in the library for days.

 

When he pulled himself up through the sunroof - something Hyungwon “fixed” up with cardboard and tape only to be removed when used - he felt a light breeze hit him and he inhaled deeply through his nostrils. Changkyun didn't expect sweet tasting air at all, not with the whole world rotting away from the countless corpses laying and walking around, but it did feel nice to breath in outside air than the stuffy air he's been breathing in inside the library.

 

Changkyun noticed Hyungwon on the other side of the roof, his back towards him. He was sitting at the edge of the roof with his legs dangling off of it, facing the city. Changkyun quietly approached the other - or at least he thought he was being quiet.

 

Hyungwon whipped his head around to face the younger male, making him freeze in place. Hyungwon had an intense look in his dark eyes and his thick lips pulled back into a snarl, revealing grit teeth. Changkyun couldn't miss the way the taller’s hand instinctively reached for his gun, ready to attack whoever snuck up on him. The younger felt his heart speed up as fear for his life washed over him. He quickly took a step back, “It's just me.” Changkyun quickly assured, raising his hands up to show that he was harmless.

 

Hyungwon immediately stopped himself and a look of confusion flashed in his eyes before the taller sighed in relief, face softening. With a hint of annoyance in his voice, he said, “You scared the shit out of me, don't do that. What do you want?”

 

“Nothing really. Just thought I'd chill out here with you. Do you mind?” he says in a small voice, the look of Hyungwon’s merciless face still bothering him. Changkyun had honestly feared for his life at that moment, and he wouldn't doubt that it'd be taken from him had he been someone else.

 

Hyungwon observed his face before turning back around to the city, “No, do what you want.”

 

After calming his heart, Changkyun took a seat beside him, hanging his legs off just the same.  He immediately noticed Hyungwon kicked his dangling legs - another cute quirk to add to the list.

 

He stared off into the city and could just barely see figures of a few infected dragging themselves about and even faint grunts could be heard from them all the way from where they were. With the moon high in the sky, the infected were more active, so even watching them move about amongst each other was at least a little entertaining.

 

Changkyun looked up at the star filled sky and sighed with content at the sight of it. He had the shit scared out of him just a moment ago, but now that he had calmed down and was sure he wasn't in harm's way, he felt a bit at peace. Living in a city for most of one's life made it near impossible to be able to see so many shining stars like this, so this was an incredibly nice change. He supposed that maybe that was one good thing about the lack of electricity, there weren't thousands of lights on to almost fade out the beautiful stars in the sky. They could clearly be seen and Changkyun could even pick out and name some constellations from where they were. Not that it meant a lot to them - hell, he'd rather be able to drink cold water and cook food on a proper stove than stargaze, but what could they do.

 

They were sitting there in comfortable silence for quite sometime before Changkyun suddenly broke it to discuss something he knew the older would like to hear about, “I finished the book we picked out earlier today.” he said while still looking at the sky.

 

To the younger’s surprise, Hyungwon barely let out a grunt of acknowledgement at his comment. Frowning with concern, Changkyun look to the other and noticed that the other had a sad, almost solemn look written over his face. His dark eyes didn't shine like he expected them to and instead held an unreadable expression as he stared at the infected limping around. His lips were curled downward into a small frown.

 

He wanted to ask Hyungwon what was wrong. Sure, the older often had a stoic facial expression to begin with, only expressing any emotions when reading or talking about a book, but right now he just looked _sad._ Changkyun wanted to know why. He found himself wanting to comfort the older because he found that he didn't like this look on Hyungwon’s face at all. He wanted the older to brighten up the way he usually does when books are brought up, and if not that at the very least have a that bored, almost expressionless face he usually puts on. Anything was better than the pained and sad look he had now, and Changkyun wanted to do something about it.

 

But he didn't know what to say or do to make him feel better. They weren't exactly close enough to be considered friends so he couldn't just outright ask the older if he was okay knowing that Hyungwon wouldn't open up to him so easily. So instead, he continued to talk about his book, finding it better than staying silent. Maybe his words would distract the older from whatever was bothering him. “Main character guy’s princess-girlfriend ended up dying before she was saved and the Kingdom ended up overtaken by evil dude.” Needless to say, Changkyun’s summary skills were _great._ “There was a really bad ass fight at the end and it actually makes you think he's gonna win. Like, you _want_ the hero to win so desperately but nah, he ends up dying a pretty sad death without really accomplishing anything. It's sad really, don't you think? Like, Hamlet is sad, but Hamlet was also crazy at some points. Main hero actually wanted to help others, only to be fucked over in the end.”

 

Changkyun didn't mean to ramble on as much as he did. He was watching for Hyungwon’s expressions to change as he spoke, and when he didn't even bat an eye at first, he found himself growing desperate to see the side of Hyungwon he liked so much, so he continued to talk in hopes of doing so.

 

It paid off at least, because Hyungwon’s dark eyes started to hold a bit of interest in them and he even turned to the younger at some point to look him in the eyes as he spoke, head slightly nodding every once in a while as he listened. “That is sad. Hamlet at least had Horatio to depend on throughout the whole story.”

 

“Right? Main guy didn't have anyone except the princess at first, only for her to be kidnapped and then die. I was really hoping they'd be reunited..” Changkyun admits.

 

“Did you like it at least?” Hyungwon asked.

 

Changkyun would be lying if he said he didn't feel a little happy about the older actually asking for his opinion. “Yeah, actually. I mean, it's sad as shit, but it's really well written. And unique. Not like other stories where the hero actually accomplishes what he's supposed to, those can be easy to predict sometimes, so this was a nice change. I enjoyed it.”

 

Hyungwon nodded as he listened, turning back to look at the building, “Good. I might have to read it myself.”

 

Changkyun brightened a bit at that, “Yeah, you should, I think you'd like it! I'll give it to you when we get inside, okay?” The taller only nodded in response as he stared off into the distance.

 

And with that they returned to silence…

 

Changkyun expected this; their conversations always ended in silence, neither saying anything more, that's how they always ended. However, this time it felt different and it bothered the younger. It didn't feel right.

 

Usually there's a sort of peace to their silence. A sort of tranquil quietness shared between the two after a small, successful conversation. Sure they were awkward and tense at first but they gradually became a little more casual. It didn't feel as tense anymore, showing that they were getting used to each other's presence.

 

But this time it felt even worse, the tense atmosphere returned only heavier than usual and Changkyun wasn't sure why. He found himself uncomfortable as he sat beside the older, unsure of what to do with himself to relax. He felt like Hyungwon was just seeping with negative energy and it made him feel uneasy. He knew the older felt a bit sad before, but he had hoped that Hyungwon would forget about it for a moment after their conversation. Apparently not, because that sadness he felt just creeped back almost instantly. Changkyun had a number of questions going through his head ; was Hyungwon okay? Is he tired? Is there something upsetting him? If so, what is it? How can I help him feel better?

 

Changkyun wanted to reach out and try to confront the issue but Hyungwon beat him and spoke first.

 

“We're running low on food..” he said so in a quiet, low voice and didn't even look in Changkyun’s directions when he said it. The younger thought that he only imagined his words for a second.

 

Ah, so that's what's bothering him.. He nodded his head in agreement and simply said, “We are.”

 

“Do you know how much we have left?”

 

“Probably enough to last us two more days. Four if we cut how much we eat by a half.”

 

Hyungwon didn't reply immediately. Changkyun watched him from the corner of his eye and could see the pained look on his face get worse, like he was about to cry. The need to comfort the older after seeing him in such state only got stronger but he refrained from doing so. He instead waited for whatever Hyungwon would say next. When he spoke, he stared down at his hands and seemed to force his next words out, “We have to go look for more.”

 

Changkyun wasn't sure if Hyungwon was scared to go find food (which again, he wouldn't blame him for, Changkyun wasn't very eager to do so either) or if there was some other reason behind his hesitancy to do so, but decided not to question it. He simply nodded and said, “We can go in the morning.”

 

Hyungwon only nodded his head to that and didn't say another word.

 

Changkyun wasn't sure when they became a “we”, he thought for sure Hyungwon hated being around him, but didn't go against it either. If anything it made him happy knowing that his attempts at befriending the older were finally paying off. He didn't mind going with him to find food, after all they did live together now. Hyungwon was kind enough to let the younger stay, the least he could do was help him.

 

It was never said that Changkyun would stay with Hyungwon permanently, they never talked about it or established what their relationship entailed. The most they'd said was that Changkyun could leave if he wanted to. He didn't have to but he could. And if he did stay the least he could do is help, that was their silent agreement.

 

Changkyun couldn't help but think about the pros and cons of leaving though, in case he did decide to do so. Frankly, there were more cons then pros.

 

The pros would be that he wouldn't have to worry about someone else's safety or being betrayed by him. He could travel freely by his own rules without having to worry about anyone holding him back. Would Hyungwon do something like betray him? He didn't know him well enough to say so, but he's proven himself to be a kind person a few times already so he doubted Hyungwon even had it in him. However, that could be a front he's pulling off to gain Changkyun’s trust. If there's one thing he knew for certain it was that change when put into a life or death situation (or to better phrase it, they show their true colors) , people deceive and lie and will do anything to make sure they survive and Changkyun didn't want to be the one to suffer from those kinds of people again. If he left, he'd be safe from any more emotional damage.

 

As for the cons, if he left, he'd be all alone again, which the shorter didn't mind too much - if anything he was used to traveling alone at this point - but he knew his chances of survival would diminish significantly without someone watching his back. He wouldn't have someone he can rely on. Someone to watch his back if they were overrun by zombies. He would have to find a new place to stay. It was hard to believe that any place could be as safe as the library they were staying in now and it seemed like a waste to leave it. He'd have to deal with everything by himself again, and Changkyun knew that deep down he really did miss the company of others. He missed the feeling of reassurance from having someone by his side. He missed having casual and light conversation to take his mind off the threat of infected. Changkyun wasn't sociable by nature, but he wasn't a lone wolf neither; he _wanted_ to be able to call someone his partner, teammate, _friend,_ and leaving would only abandon that potential connection with Hyungwon.

 

The more Changkyun thought about it the more he realized he didn't know much about Hyungwon other than his love for literature. Actually he didn't know anything about him. Could he even fight on his own? How helpful would he really be to have around if he can't even fight? He had a gun, and he clearly must be good if he's survived this long. Or maybe he was like the shorter male and simply ran away. He had longer legs, he could probably cover more ground and a lot quicker too. Or maybe he's been locked up in this library from the very beginning. That'd make sense.

 

But it also didn't add up, the first night Changkyun broke in and even just a few moments ago, Hyungwon had a cold and lethal look in his eyes, ready and willing to kill the shorter male if need be. He had a look that said he's done it before and wasn't afraid to do so again. He kicked and hurt him, even tied him up, he was clearly no stranger to dealing with others.

 

Thinking about it and trying to figure it out himself was silly - he could just ask Hyungwon. He turned to the taller who was still staring off into the city, deep in thought, eyes holding little to no emotion. He wasn't sure where to begin to get his answers, so he started with a general and easy question. “How long have you been staying here at the library?”

 

Hyungwon blinked in surprise, taken out of his thoughts. He turns to the shorter male for a second before turning back to the city. “About a month now.”

 

“Really? Did you already live in this town?”

 

He shook his head. “My friends and I traveled here from a city South of here. We thought heading north was our best bet, and we found this place. Well, some of us did, not everyone made it.” Hyungwon said with a light frown.

 

“How many of you were there?”

 

“Originally there were five of us. Two left us midway though, deciding to go on their own.”

 

Changkyun was a bit surprised from the number of people. How did five people reduce down to just the one? What happened to the other two who didn't leave? He remembered Hyungwon mention a friend who left in search of food - he could only guess what happened to him - but what of the other one?

 

Suddenly the shorter felt a sadness in the pit of his stomach for the older male. Changkyun never had a large group of friends he traveled with, he only had one, and, even though he was betrayed and hurt by Kihyun at the time, he was still hurt to lose his companionship. But to lose four of your companions? He could only imagine how lonely Hyungwon felt.

 

Though Changkyun got a few answers he was looking for. He hadn't stayed at the library for a long time, he's spent some time surviving and with the help of others too which means he knew how to cooperate with others.

 

“What about you?” Hyungwon suddenly asked, looking straight at the younger. Changkyun was a bit surprised by the question but admit that he was a little happy to know that Hyungwon was actually contributing to the conversation. “You came here alone, did you always travel on your own?”

 

Changkyun fiddled to with his fingers, staring down at them. He didn't like thinking about Kihyun, but he felt that it was the least he could do since Hyungwon willingly told him about himself.

 

“No. I used to travel with an old friend of mine. I'd known him since my freshman year of high school so we stuck together but… he decided that at some point I wasn't worth keeping around anymore and he left me to die. Since then I've been on my own.” Changkyun didn't bother going into detail of what happened between him and Kihyun, didn't think there was any point to. Point is that he was left on his own.

 

“Your friend sounds like an ass hole.” Hyungwon says and the younger can't help but stifle a laugh at how blunt he sounded.

 

“Well… you're not wrong.”

 

“So then you don't really enjoy being around people, do you?“

 

Changkyun shrugs his shoulders, “It's not like I hate all of humanity now because of him, but… I think I am a bit pickier about who I travel with now. I've always been on the reserved side, anyways. Even back then I didn't really like huge social events.”

 

“If that's the case then why are you still here?” Changkyun was a bit surprised by how blunt and direct the question came off and he was honestly a little offended by it at first. It shouldn't have been surprising, but it almost sounded like Hyungwon wanted the younger to just leave already. But when he looked into Hyungwon’s eyes there was genuine curiosity in them, clearly meaning nothing by it.

 

Changkyun thought about his question for a second. “Well… you're just one person.”

 

Hyungwon lightly chuckled at that and he playfully pushed the younger’s shoulder. “That's not what I meant and you know it.”

 

Changkyun found a small laugh escaping his lips “I know. I'm not sure. I was looking for a safe place to stay, and I found it. You welcomed me to it actually. I'd have to be an idiot to leave when I found the perfect place to stay.”

 

Hyungwon nodded in acknowledgement. “I treated you like shit when we first met though. Not sure if you could call that a warm welcome.”

 

The younger shrugged his shoulders, “I've dealt with worse.” Kihyun being a prime example of ‘worse’. “And anyways, I'd probably be the same if someone broke into my house.”

 

“Still, that doesn't excuse my actions after you dropped your weapons. I'm… really sorry.”

 

Changkyun’s eyes widened slightly in surprise at Hyungwon’s apology, not at all expecting it. He looked into his large eyes to find any sort of deceit in them, but they only held a sincere shine and the younger found himself staring into them. “I - it's fine.” he finally said, turning away from the older male to break the eye contact. He didn't realize that he'd been staring and suddenly felt embarrassed when he did. “I understand why you did it. If anything I'm grateful you didn't kill me on the spot. Anyone else would have.” he found himself looking in every other direction but Hyungwon’s, suddenly too embarrassed to look at him.

 

“So we're fine now? You don't… hate me for how I treated you?”

 

Changkyun caught the hint of worry in the olders voice and, despite how embarrassed he felt a minute ago, turned to him in surprise again. Was he really worried about how he felt? Hyungwon had been so distant from him that he thought he simply didn't care about him, but now… was he avoiding him this whole time because he thought he was hated? “Not at all..” he quickly said. The younger found himself wanting to clear up any misunderstanding immediately and he wasn't sure why, “I think you're a fairly kind person if anything. I could never hate anyone who refused to steal from someone so vulnerable. You had every right to treat an intruder like me the way you did. And anyways, if I hated you I wouldn't have been trying so hard to talk to you these last few days.. ” his voice began to trail off as he said those last words, his cheeks burning up for God knows what reason. He wasn't sure why but he felt embarrassed for indirectly admitting that he wanted to get along with the older male.

 

Hyungwon stared into his face as if to make sure he wasn't lying and Changkyun found that the embarrassment he was feeling was only getting stronger the longer they faced each other and he tried his hardest to not avert his gaze. Finally, Hyungwon sighed in relief and turned back towards the city, rubbing the back of his neck. “That's good. I'm glad..” he said in an almost inaudible voice. “I was really surprised you didn't leave the first chance you got. It made me uncomfortable. Thought you were gonna kill me for how I treated you.”

 

“Do you still think that?”

 

The taller male shrugged, “I mean I believe that it'll always be a possibility no matter what since we still hardly know each other.”

 

Changkyun sighed, “Is there anything I can do to prove that I'm harmless? To you at least.. ”

 

“You can prove yourself tomorrow when we go out searching for food. Depending on how that goes then I'll start to fully trust you. You know what they say, you never truly know someone until you throw them into a life or death situations or… Something like that.”

 

Changkyun can't help but pout at his words. He was already so trusting of Hyungwon, so why couldn't he at least trust him a little? Sure, the brunette doesn't exactly believe that he can trust Hyungwon with his life, but he does have some faith in him. Changkyun has had his fair share of betrayal with Kihyun and that was enough to make him want to travel alone, but Hyungwon he could feel is different. Hyungwon was honest. Kihyun was always a bit on the mischievous side even before the world was taken over by the disease. It had only gotten worse when it started, and Changkyun ended up being the first to experience it when Kihyun locked him up and ran away with all the food and possessions they had. Had a group of very generous strangers not passed by on what felt like Changkyun’s final days of starving, he wouldn't be here today.

 

But Hyungwon wasn't Kihyun, and the brunette knew it. Kihyun didn't fuck him up enough to never be able to trust another human being again, it simply made him more skeptical of who he was willing to put faith into. And he found no reason to deny Hyungwon of that.

 

But Hyungwon clearly had a different way of deciding who was trustworthy and who wasn't. It was almost frustrating, but he understood where he was coming from, so he had no choice but to accept.

 

Not wanting to continue this conversation, Changkyun simply nodded and stayed quiet.

_________________________________

Hyungwon was fully aware that he was being stubborn and unfair to Changkyun. In all honesty, a small part of him really did believe in the younger. It had been almost a week and he has done nothing that would give the taller male a reason to distrust him.

 

But the other part was just too broken from past experiences to let himself believe. That part of him wanted nothing more than to protect himself from any further emotional harm.

 

Before the world broke loose into the hell they live in now, Hyungwon was close friends with four other boys - Wonho, Shownu, Minhyuk and Jooheon. They were all the best of friends before, and even when the infected did take over they stuck together like glue. They relied on each. They were a team.

 

But gradually, that changed.

 

Minhyuk and Jooheon were the first to leave a crack in his faith, and even that was too much on his frail soul. There was a change in the two of them that made things turn for the worse. They had all trusted each other greatly and suddenly none of that mattered. Suddenly being together didn't mean shit. Suddenly protecting each other was an inconvenience and suddenly one misunderstanding lead to the next, one petty argument leading to a full on fight between friends. They had started to snap at each other for any little thing. It was as though they were no longer friends, they felt more like strangers who had just met a few days prior. They couldn't cooperate anymore, Jooheon would snap at them very easily, and Wonho, being one to never take bullshit from people, would argue back or defend the others, only to lead up to a huge fight between the two. Minhyuk would always back Jooheon up, Shownu would try to reason with both sides in futile attempts to calm them, and Hyungwon would quietly watch his closest friends tear each other apart.

 

After a while they had had enough. It was hard to just look at each other anymore. They weren't even a team anymore. They were split into two different sides now, and neither side wanted to work with the other anymore.

 

Jooheon was the first to try to leave and of course Minhyuk - being childhood friends with him before they all met - followed.

 

Leaving only him, Wonho and Shownu behind.

 

They could survive. Hyungwon was smart, calm and collected. He thought things through and was always level headed even in dire situations. Both Wonho and Shownu were strong and very well equipped to fight against the infected. They didn't need Minhyuk or Jooheon. They were fine on their own…

 

Or so they thought.

 

Shownu was the next to deepen the crack on his already battered soul. The oldest and the one considered the leader of their now small group had been bitten by an infected while on their way to the town Hyungwon was currently in.

 

Neither Hyungwon nor Wonho knew about it. Shownu didn't tell them and he did a very good job in hiding it. Why he refused to say anything was beyond Hyungwon.

 

The first few days Shownu was able to keep it well under control, but of course the infection started to get to him and he started showing signs of its effects. He started to get tired a lot faster, panting heavily after walking for only a couple hours and going into coughing fits that he tried to pull off as nothing more than a cold. There were some points where it looked like Shownu’s bloodshot eyes were wide while staring into nothing. He scratched at his skin roughly and at some points he'd hurt himself doing so, breaking the skin. Shownu tried his best to not let them know about it and did a damn good job of doing so. He remained distant and quieter than usual, which to the two didn't mean much, Shownu was a fairly quiet person by nature.

 

One night when they had been camping out in the woods Wonho decided to keep watch while Hyungwon and Shownu rested. It was very late at night and even with a full moon out in the sky it was hard to see past a few feet ahead of you. Wonho was simply staring at the ground thinking about nothing when he started to hear Shownu shift in his spot next to Hyungwon. At first the blond didn't think much of it at all, he was probably just rolling over in sleep, finding a more comfortable position to sleep in.

 

Wonho didn't start to question it until Shownu continued to do so. He'd shift. Stop. Move. Stop. Then roll over, only to stop and repeat. It would have been looked over had Shownu not been releasing pained grunts. Concerned, the blond stood up and walked over the the oldest who had thrown a thin blanket over his face, seeming to hold it in place with a tight grip.

 

“Shownu?” Wonho whispered as he inched closer to the older. When he continued to toss and turn, the blond tried again, only louder. “Shownu. Hey! Shownu, what's wrong?” he frowned when he still didn't respond, despite raising his voice. At this rate, he was worried he'd wake Hyungwon up.

 

Thinking that Shownu was having some awful nightmare he tried to wake him up by pulling the blanket away, but instead of the older laying there sleeping and struggling through a dream like he thought he'd be, Shownu had jumped at Wonho the second the blanket came off, attacking him.

 

Wonho screamed as he was grabbed by an infected Shownu and thrown onto his back, pinned down. He didn't even have time to process the pain of being thrown when Shownu started to try to bite at him. Wonho disregarded anything he was feeling and put everything he had into pushing the older away.

 

Luckily for Wonho, he was the only one in the group who could be considered Shownu’s equal in terms of strength, if not just falling a little behind. Though that didn't mean there wasn't a struggle in keeping the older at bay, especially with Wonho below him.

 

He used everything he had in order to keep Shownu from infecting him as well, or worse, from making Wonho his dinner. He rammed his knee upwards into the olders gut in hopes of pushing him off or at least increasing the distance from each other. Wonho’s right hand was firmly planted against Shownus forehead to keep his mouth from making contact while his left hand held the others shoulder back as far as he could manage. All the while the blond screamed desperately for Hyungwon to wake up as he struggled under the eldest’s strength and weight. Though considering how heavy of a sleeper Hyungwon was, he didn't have much hope, but held desperately onto the little he did have.

 

Wonho’s arms started to give out underneath the olders weight and he panicked, just a centimeter closer and any scratch or bite from Shownu will no doubt infect him. He screamed louder and started to wildly thrust his knees forward into Shownus gut continuously to try to get him off out of desperation.

 

When Hyungwon came through, Wonho’s loud yelling and cursing finally getting to him, he felt his stomach drop and panic run through him at the scene in front of him. As if put into auto pilot at the sight of his best friend in danger, he quickly rose to his feet, grabbing his gun.

 

Hyungwon wasn't sure what got to him at that moment - maybe it was the sheer panic of losing his last surviving friend to his other friend who was long gone - but whatever it was gave him the strength and courage to tackle Shownu off of Wonho. Looking back he assumed it had to be the adrenaline because under any other circumstances, Hyungwon wouldn't be able to even move the oldest back by a centimeter.

 

But in that moment he was able to knock Shownu completely off and even a few feet away from Wonho, landing in his back. The blond, finally out of the infected Shownu’s grasp, scrambled away from the two, panting heavily.

 

Out of all of them, Hyungwon was the one who was always calm even in dire situations. He kept a level head no matter what, he thought things through, he was logical. On top of that, Hyungwon was dangerous. While kind and quiet, he had a side to him that didn't show any mercy if there was a threat in their way. And at that moment, it wasn't their close friend Shownu who he was towering above, it was a monster that needed to be discarded of. It wasn't their kind, selfless leader glaring up at Hyungwon, it was an infected person ready to attack.

 

So it came to no surprise to Wonho when the taller male raised his pistol, aiming towards Shownu’s head. A dark look clouded over Hyungwon’s dark eyes and Wonho didn't see a single hint of mercy in them, just malice, and it _scared_ him.

 

Wonho desperately wanted to stop Hyungwon at that moment, knowing exactly what he would do next. The blond wanted to reach out and push the hand that held the gun towards their friend down, to try to reason with him. Shownu was one of their closest friend, was he _really_ going to kill him?! Maybe they could help Shownu. Maybe there was a way to bring him back. Maybe the infection hadn't completely taken their oldest friend over yet. He didn't want to see his best friend kill someone as equally important to him. He _couldn't._ He cared too much to let this happen.

 

And that's where Hyungwon was different. He easily threw away any emotional attachment to the eldest that'd get in the way of protecting them. He knew that there was no hope for Shownu. Knew that it was either kill him, or let him kill them. And Hyungwon wasn't about to sacrifice himself after surviving this long.

 

So when Hyungwon hastily pulled the trigger once, Wonho’s whole body jolted at the horrible sound of the gun firing, bullet meeting flesh and said flesh being torn apart. He buried his face into his hands, not wanting to see anymore of what was happening. He couldn't bring himself to see.

 

Hyungwon stared down at Shownu’s body which was sprawled across the floor. Hyungwon didn't let his guard down easily though, his whole body on stiff and ready to fire again if the infected were to move. But it didn't, its entire body lay limp on the floor, a pool of blood forming around his destroyed head. Hyungwon made sure Shownu was completely dead before his body began to relax and an overwhelming number of emotions hit him at full force, all at once.

 

Hyungwon didn't even notice his legs giving out underneath him as he stared down at his best friend's corpse, once narrowed eyes that shined with malice just moments ago now wide in disbelief. His hands visibly trembled as he stared down at Shownu, horrified by his own actions. He began hyperventilating. Or maybe it was Wonho’s uneven breathing and sobbing he was hearing? Hyungwon wasn't sure anymore.

 

At first he felt numb from the utter shock he felt from the entire situation. From seeing Shownu almost make a dinner out of Wonho and from being the one to _kill_ his friend. He couldn't feel anything because he couldn't process any of it just yet, all he knew was that somewhere along the lines something went _wrong_. Something horrible happened that lead them to this moment.

 

Then an excruciating guilt began to eat at him once he finally grasped the situation a little better. From that moment and on, Shownu was dead. By _Hyungwon’s_ hand. He had killed him, and he didn't even feel an ounce of remorse when it happened. Fear began to set in soon after, if not simultaneously. Was _he_ the real monster here? Was his lack of mercy for one of his closest friends normal? Sure, it was for their protection, but why didn't he felt anything at the moment it happened? He didn't even hesitate to pull the trigger. Why did he not even regret taking Shownu’s life?

 

Then a strong sense of sadness overtook him. One of his closest and oldest friends was dead. Another one of his closest friends was gone, reducing what used to be a group of five to two. Shownu was somehow infected with the disease that slowly took over his body, before he was killed in order to spare Hyungwon and Wonho’s life. Shownu was suffering for who knows how long. Unlike Jooheon and Minhyuk, who willingly left in seemingly good condition, there was no hope for Shownu. At least with the pair that left he could imagine that they were doing well, just as they were when they left.

 

An intense anger burned inside him next. If he had been bitten, why hadn't he told them? What good would hiding it have been? How dare Shownu put their lives on the line by keeping quiet about it? Did the eldest not care, was he okay with possibly being the ones to kill his friends? Was that noble, selfless person he seemed to display in front of them just a facade? Or did he think himself somehow above others, so much so that he'd be immune to the disease?

 

Finally, Hyungwon felt a painful sense of self loathing set in, along with the guilt returning. Hyungwon started to blame himself for not seeing the signs sooner. For never noticing his friend suffering until it was far too late. Thinking back to it, the signs were clearly there, so maybe Hyungwon saw but didn't acknowledge. Maybe he didn't _want_ to acknowledge it. In which case he would have no one but himself to blame. If he did something about it sooner, he wouldn't have had to be the one to take his friend's life.

 

Time seemed to stop between the two and it felt like an eternity passed by before Hyungwon calmed down and whipped his head around, remembering Wonho’s presence. He rushed to his side, kneeling down beside him, “A-are you okay?” he asks, a look of fear and concern reflecting his eyes. Wonho didn't react right away and he grew worried. He reached a comforting hand towards the blond, only for him to jerk away from Hyungwon.

 

Wonho backed away from the taller when he tried to comfort him again, releasing a cry of fear. When he pulled his hands away from his face to help himself get away from Hyungwon, he saw nothing but fear of him reflect in Wonho’s usually happy eyes.

 

Hyungwon had never felt so emotionally pained than in that moment. His own best friend was scared of him. Horrified by what he had just done to someone who was important to the both of them. That sense of self loathing returned and all Hyungwon could think was _I deserve this._ Hyungwon could only imagine what the blond was thinking at that moment, was Wonho afraid that he'd meet the same fate Shownu had by Hyungwon’s hand? Or did he loath the taller male for what he had done? Was he realizing just how cruel Hyungwon could be and was scared of him? Either way, Wonho clearly didn't want to even be near Hyungwon.

 

But despite that, he wasn't about to leave Wonho either, no matter how much it pained Hyungwon to have those big, fearful eyes stare up at him.

 

So he tried everything he could to convince Wonho that he was harmless. That he did what he had to, for them. For _him._ It took some time, and at some point when Wonho finally caved, he was held against the taller’s chest, crying. He was rambling incoherent words about Shownu’s death and how he ‘didn't deserve turning then dying’. “He was our b-best friend, Hyungwonnie..! And n-now he's g-gone..!” Hyungwon tried his best to not cry himself, whispering comforting words to the older.

 

When Wonho calmed down, Hyungwon patted him on the back and said, “Cmon. We shouldn't stay here.” he was sure that Wonho would only continue to be depressed if they stuck around Shownu’s corpse.

 

With the group reduced to just the pair, they continued to move, not wanting any of what had happened to slow them down. They traveled and survived together for three days before they found a small town with a seemingly perfect library to live in.

 

And they did just that. They claimed it as their own, got comfortable, and stayed there together for almost a month. It was one of their hardest months to survive given that their once large group was reduced to the two of them. Worl that used to be split between five people (things like keeping watch, finding a source of food, fire wood for warmth, and any other means of survival) now had to be done by the two, leaving both tired by the end of the day. But they survived a long month together nonetheless, and Hyungwon was happy.

 

Until one day when the two realized they were short on food, making Wonho the last to shatter Hyungwon’s hope completely when he left to find food and failed to returned to him.

 

He tried giving Wonho the benefit of the doubt and hope for his return. Maybe he was just taking his time. Maybe all the nearest places were simply lacking food from others raiding them and he had to go further into the town. Maybe Wonho was gathering so much food that he lost track of time. Any excuse Hyungwon told himself was enough to put him at ease at least a little bit, no matter how ridiculous he made them out to be.

 

But after almost a two weeks with no word was too much. He had to accept that Wonho wasn't returning to his side. The reason for his failure to return was something Hyungwon preferred to not think about, however. The reason didn't matter. All that did was that he was alone.

 

What used to be his group of five happy friends he could trust with everything he had - the optimistic Minhyuk, the passionate Jooheon, the natural born leader Shownu, and the upbeat , Wonho - was torn apart, leaving an extremely lonely Hyungwon.

 

And he was _hurt._

 

He was hurt by them and he _hated_ them, all of them. Minhyuk, Jooheon, Shownu, Wonho, every one of them _left_ him with nothing. He hated Jooheon for suddenly becoming such a negative and bitter person to be around. He hated how Jooheon let the stress get to him, getting angry over seemingly everything. He hated Minhyuk for following Jooheon around like a puppy, for never questioning Jooheon’s sudden change, for always siding with him regardless of how irrational he was just because he had known him the longest. He hated Shownu for keeping something that could kill all of them a secret, for nearly killing Wonho, for leaving Hyungwon to make the worst choice of his life, for making both him and Wonho realize just how heartless Hyungwon could be. And he hated Wonho for staying with him, for giving him false hopes that they'd stick together no matter what, that they were the best of friends and absolutely nothing would separate them, only to break every promise ever made by not returning.

 

And now that he was alone he didn't like the idea of putting his trust in another person. What was the point? So that they could leave him too?

 

Hyungwon didn't want or need that kind of pain anymore.

 

Yet here Changkyun was, sitting beside him on the roof of the library he now calls home. Hyungwon wasn't so cruel as to kill a person who wasn't a threat, so he didn't harm Changkyun any further than he did the first night he arrived, but he remained distant, or at least tried to. He expected the younger male to leave as soon as he had his chance, not to stay in the library and try to befriend him. Sure, Hyungwon didn't exactly kick him out, he wasn't so cruel as to do so, but he made sure that he didn't come off as friendly or approachable. That he didn't _want_ Changkyun around, so when the younger remained it made Hyungwon a bit uneasy, thinking he was plotting his death or something. Hyungwon knew that the way he treated Changkyun was harsh and he started to feel genuinely guilty about it when he realized that Changkyun was a kind person, which is why he felt so relieved when Changkyun didn't hold it against him. He assumed that he surely wanted some kind of revenge.

 

But he never did anything to get back at him and from the looks of it Changkyun wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon either. Hyungwon didn't blame him, this library was the safest place he'd seen since the world was taken over by the infected, and Hyungwon wasn't selfish enough to keep such a safe haven all to himself.

 

But he tried to keep himself from getting close, which failed to work sometimes. The less they knew each other, the less it'd hurt if he did leave. But Changkyun seemed to have other things in mind, he seemed to actively try to talk and communicate with the taller male and while Hyungwon did appreciate the gesture, it still left a feeling of uneasiness and confusion. _This isn't how it's supposed to be, you're not supposed to like me, you're not supposed to try to be my friend, not after what I did. You're supposed to be disgusted by how I treated you and leave the second you were free so why are you here why are you trying so hard to talk to me why why why._

 

What bothered Hyungwon the most was that he was starting to like the younger male more too. He found himself opening up ever so slightly to Changkyun, easily conversing with him despite trying so hard not to in the beginning.

 

He decided to give Changkyun a chance. The moment Hyungwon accepted the fact that Wonho wouldn't be coming back and suggest they find food themselves , he simultaneously accepted Changkyun to be more of an ally than foe. Someone who he could at least try to count on, because in the end two was still and always will be significantly better than one.

 

Hyungwon was putting the last little bit of hope he had left into Changkyun. Hyungwon knew he had to put all fear aside and accept the younger, he couldn't let what happened with the others stop him from ever interacting with anyone. It had eaten at him long enough. The month with Wonho and him alone in the library was painful to say the least as all Hyungwon could think about were the horrible turn of events that occurred before they got there. Jooheon and Minhyuk leaving. Shownu attacking Wonho. _Killing_ Shownu. Wonho being _scared_ of Hyungwon for a moment. It ate at him and if it weren't for Wonho actively trying to distract the younger, he would have gone insane. It only got worse when Wonho left to find food, leaving Hyungwon alone with nothing but depressing thoughts. He didn't want this feeling of loneliness to continue to drive him to insanity anymore, he wanted to be free from it, and if risking all of that meant trusting Changkyun than so be it.

 

Hyungwon reached out and patted the younger male on the shoulder, visibly startling him, “Cmon, let's go to bed. The sooner we get up to leave the better.” he said as he stood up. He stretched his back and arms, feeling satisfying pops from sitting down for so long.

 

Changkyun looked almost surprised by the contact but nodded and quietly followed his lead. It was hard to tell what time it was exactly, but it was no doubt late into the night. They had sat out there in both silence and small conversation for what felt like hours. They needed their rest if they were going to go outside the safety of the fences. They made their way back inside before curling up on the couches to sleep.

 

Changkyun made note of the fact that it was the first time they actually went to sleep together.

____________________________________

Changkyun, like all the other days, was the first to wake up. He contemplated whether or not he should wake Hyungwon up too. Usually Changkyun would go about his own business and wait for the other to wake up and that didn't happen until many hours later. Would he'd be grouchy if he was taken out of his slumber, or would it be okay since Hyungwon himself said the earlier the better?

 

Deciding on the latter, he hesitantly walked up to the older who was sprawled across the long couch sleeping peacefully. The younger was honestly a little scared to wake him up when he looked so at peace. Changkyun wasn't sure what to expect from Hyungwon. Would he be angry? Annoyed at the younger? Regardless of the olders response, Changkyun knew he had to wake him up. He kneeled down beside Hyungwon’s head and inhaled deeply, mentally preparing himself. Well… it was a start…

 

Still unable to find the courage to wake the taller boy up just yet, Changkyun simply stared at his face trying to come up with the safest way of getting Hyungwon up.

 

As he stared into the olders face, Changkyun couldn't help but notice just how handsome really Hyungwon was. He noticed that the taller male was leaning more towards the better looking end of the spectrum on the first night, but he never had the chance to examine each of his features.

 

He had seemingly flawless skin without a blemish in sight and Changkyun was almost tempted to run his thumb over Hyungwon’s cheek. The shape of his head - albeit small compared to his tall and scrawny stature - was perfectly rounded with a strong jawline. With his eyes closed, the younger noticed just how long and pretty his eyelashes were too. Hyungwon’s nose had a rounded tip, giving it a unique shape, and it was honestly the cutest nose he'd seen - not that Changkyun took the time to consider how nice people's noses were. He had a peculiar shape of lips but it was by no means a bad thing, if anything they were actually pretty and only added to Hyungwon’s already nice features. They had a shape to them that Changkyun had never seen before and were incredibly plump and soft looking. The younger was almost tempted to poke at his lips with his finger just to see how soft they really were.

 

No matter how you looked at Hyungwon, he was pretty from every angle.

 

 _Must have been a lady killer back in the olden days,_ Changkyun thought as he finally worked up the courage to reach out to the older male. He placed his hand on Hyungwon’s shoulder and gently shook it, “Hey…” he said in a small, timid voice, still worried that he'd anger him.

 

The only response the younger got was a very soft hum from the older.

 

So Changkyun tried to shake his shoulder again, this time putting a little more force behind his arm. “Hyungwon.. Wake up..” he said, raising his voice ever so slightly.

 

The taller male's brows furrowed and he let out an annoyed whimper before he pulled himself away from Changkyun’s grasp and rolled over onto his side, facing his back towards the younger.

 

“Ugh, Hyungwon, please…” the younger quietly begged with just as much annoyance in his voice as the older probably felt from trying to be woken up. He knew his pleas were going unheard, but he still complained. Hyungwon really was a child.

 

Changkyun tried to grab at his shoulder again only for it to be jerked away. He had to give himself at least some credit though because he gained a very hoarse and quiet, “Stop..” from the older male. “Five more hours..” Hyungwon begged through his sleep state as he snuggled into the makeshift pillow he was using.

 

The younger couldn't help but huff in irritation at the older. He admit that watching him try to wake up was endearing and cute, amusing even, but having to be the one to wake him up? It proved to be much more of a challenge than Changkyun originally expected. How did his other friends put up with this?

 

“Hyungwon.. You have to get up if we're going to get food. You said it yourself, remember? The earlier the better?” The brunette tried to persuade him as he grabbed his arm, settling on a more bold approach to wake him. He held a firm grip as to not have Hyungwon pull away again, and shook him around rougher than before, throwing any fear of angering the older out the window. “Hyungwon!”

 

It seemed to work because Hyungwon, with that annoyed frown still plastered on his face, rolls over on his back and cracks an eye open at the younger before closing it again. He let's out a groan as if to ask what he wanted.

 

Assuming he had his attention, albeit still half asleep, Changkyun’s bold approach was reduced to a nervous explanation for his actions, “Uh.. Food. We should be going to get food, right? While the sun's high the sky, it's our best chance. I thought I should wake you up for it.. ” he said, his voice getting smaller with each word.

 

Hyungwon didn't respond right away and for a second the brunette thought he fell asleep again. But soon his face softened and he didn't have a frown anymore. “Right..” He finally breaths out, both hands raising to his eyes in an attempt to rub the sleep out of them. He slowly sits up as he rubs away.

 

Changkyun was a bit surprised yet pleased by how easily he agreed. He takes a seat beside Hyungwon and watches him carefully, scared he'd just curl up and fall back to sleep like he's witnessed him do many times before. When he pulls his hands away, Hyungwon just stares forward with his half lidded eyes still glossy from the tiredness, clearly not ready to do anything just yet. Sometimes they'd close for a few seconds too long before suddenly widening, probably remembering that he had to stay awake, before repeating the process.

 

Changkyun can't help but stifle a laugh at his appearance, Hyungwon has _too_ much trouble waking up, and the younger didn't even know that could be possible. It was amusing to watch Hyungwon’s desperate attempts at staying up.

 

Hyungwon, hearing him, leans all of his weight onto Changkyun’s side, head landing on his shoulder. “Don't laugh at me..!” he whines, only gaining a loud, less restrained laugh from the younger.

 

“Sorry!” Changkyun apologizes between giggles, “It's just.. Really funny and cute to see you try to get up.” he explains with a playful smile, looking down at Hyungwon. His eyes seemed to have trouble staying open.

 

“I'm not cute, you're cute, shut up…” he sleepily slurs in his (poor) attempt to insult the younger back. His eyes slide close again as he says, “I just like my sleep..”

 

“I can tell.” Changkyun chuckles. Not minding the extra weight on him, he let's Hyungwon rest against his shoulder for a bit longer. He watched his face, noticing the slight gap between Hyungwon’s lips as he breathed. A very light snore could be heard from him and Changkyun was surprised by how quickly he fell back to sleep, despite trying so hard just moments ago to stay up.

 

 _Either I'm a comfortable body pillow or his resolve isn't strong enough._ Changkyun thought with a tiny grin. As he watched the older male rest against him, Changkyun felt his chest swell with… something.. As he watched the taller sleep. He wasn't sure what it was, but he had to guess that it was something along the lines of admiration? Changkyun wasn't sure. He's seen Kihyun asleep all the time, in this same head on shoulder position and he'd never felt this way, but he didn't mind it. Honestly, if they didn't have such an urgent reason to leave, he wouldn't have minded staying in that position with the older until he woke up. Hell, he could probably fall asleep like this too if he just leaned his head against Hyungwon’s, but prioritized food over his own desires to rest.

 

So he reluctantly moved to wake the other up. Though it took some time, Changkyun finally got the sleepy head to get up before they went to eat what little food they had left.

 

They didn't hesitate to eat everything they had left since they were going out to restock, so for the first time in more than a week (and probably more for Hyungwon) it actually felt like the two were getting their full.

 

Changkyun settled on the floor in his usual spot eating straight from the canned pineapple, watching Hyungwon as he prepared his own breakfast. When he finished, he expected the older to go to his usual spot on the other side of the room.

 

Instead he made his way over to Changkyun and sat beside him, completely surprising the younger. It was random and almost bizarre to him, he had kept his distance so well before when they ate, and now it seemed liked Hyungwon didn't care anymore.

 

It gave Changkyun a warm, satisfied feeling in his chest and he felt a small smile tug at the corner of his lips. He felt like he was finally being accepted by the older male, like he was no longer going to be pushed away. It was comforting and such a nice change compared to how it was sitting away from each other in the painfully awkward silence they used to share.

 

And while they didn't speak to each other while they ate, it felt more relaxed. A comfortable silence. The tense atmosphere they used to share was no longer looming over them and they both seemed at ease.

 

Changkyun couldn't help but wonder what had happened to make Hyungwon sit beside him so casually, not that he was complaining. If anything it made him really happy, more so than he probably should have been. But just the day before Hyungwon was still reluctant to even look at the younger in the eye, and if he did there'd be a look of distrust in them. That vibe of distrust was no longer emanating from the older, and Changkyun felt a mixture of happiness and relief when he realized it. He wondered if this was a result from their talk the night before.

 

Hyungwon, for the first time, even talked to him while they ate, offering some of his tuna fish with crackers to the younger. Changkyun was surprised but gratefully accepted, happy that Hyungwon was being so nice. In return, Changkyun offered him some pineapple and the older gladly took some.

 

It felt incredibly nice to peacefully talk with the other without a sense of suspicion looming over them, no matter how small the conversations were. It felt even better to be able to share food with him, not expecting the kind gesture at all.

 

When they finished eating, they got up to get ready to leave. In the back of the library, Hyungwon had some different clothes that belonged to both he and his friends piled up to change into. He always wore an oversized pull over with sleeves long enough to cover up to his fingers and torn up skinny jeans, but in the pile picked up a thick, gray trench coat to put over it. It wasn't cold outside, heck it was near the end of spring, so Changkyun could only guess that the layers were more so for protection than for warmth. The thicker fabric they had on, the less chance the infected had of scratching at their skin and infecting them too.

 

He told Changkyun that if he saw anything he liked he was free to take it. Though, with his small stature compared to Hyungwon’s tower-like frame, he wasn't sure if any of it would fit him. Especially when considering that all of the clothes fit Hyungwon too big to begin with. Maybe that was just his style.

 

Deciding that changing out of the clothes he'd been wearing for more than a week was probably best, he picked out a simple gray t-shirt from the pile. It wasn't exactly clean but it was in better condition than the smelly, dirt stained, use-to-be-white shirt he had on now. Along with that, Changkyun pulled out a red button up from the pile and went behind some bookshelves to change. He wasn't sure why but changing in front of Hyungwon felt too embarrassing, which was odd considering he never cared about such a thing when he and Kihyun traveled together. The gray shirt fit loosely but it worked, whereas the buttons up’s sleeves (as predicted) were longer than his arms, so he rolled them up to his wrists. He didn't bother to change bottoms though, his cargo shorts making it easier for him to run at top speed if need be.

 

When Changkyun returned, he found the older rummaging through the pile. Finally, Hyungwon pulled out small white piece of cloth and at first Changkyun wasn't sure what it was exactly. It wasn't until the older pulled it over his own face that he realized it was a face mask people wore when they had a cold. It covered up everything below the bridge of his nose to his chin. Before he knew it Hyungwon pulled out another one, only this time black.

 

He held it out to Changkyun. “Here.” he said, faintly muffled by the thick cloth over his mouth. The younger took it and put it over his own face without question. Though Hyungwon elaborated as though he did ask about them, “I don't really know how useful these things actually are, but it gives a sense of reassurance, ya know? Feels like it's lessening the chance of getting infected by breathing the air.”

 

It wasn't very common to get infected by breathing in the same air as those zombie like monsters roaming around, if anything it was a fairly small chance. And even then it was a very long process, they'd have to be around them for a whole day before the infection set in. But even a small chance like that was too much of a risk to take, so Changkyun graciously accepted the face mask.

 

Finally Hyungwon brought out two large, empty backpacks and handed one to the younger. If they could fill both bags up to the brim with food, they'd be set for weeks.

 

“Are we ready to leave then?” Changkyun asked as he pulled the backpack over his shoulders. He looked at the taller curiously.

 

Hyungwon shook his head after he did the same with his bag. “Follow me.” he said as he turned around and made his way towards their little makeshift dining room, Changkyun following closely behind.

 

The younger watched as Hyungwon seemed to rummage through one of the cabinets, looking for something. While he did, Changkyun took the time to finally take back his weapons. He hadn't had them in his possession for a week, he almost forgot that he left them there. It felt good to hold his sledge hammer close. He shoved his knives in the little holster sheaths around his belt.

 

“Aha!” the older said, and Changkyun looked over at him. Hyungwon walked up to the younger holding a handgun in his hand. He held it out to the younger, “Here. It's fully loaded with six bullets, I'll give you an extra pack of ‘em too, just in case. ” he explained, offering the gun and a small box of bullets to the younger. Changkyun hesitantly took them in his hands, looking between the two items with a wary look. The taller male noticed Changkyun’s hesitancy and frowned before carefully asking, “Have you ever used a gun before?” now that he had thought about it, the younger did only carry weapons to be used in combat, no firearm whatsoever, which to Hyungwon, someone who's main act of defense and offense was the use of pistols, was a little bizarre.

 

Though Changkyun quickly nodded, “Yes! Yes I have but… it's been awhile since I've even held one.” Kihyun took everything the younger had at the time aside from the clothes on his back, including all weapons. Changkyun didn't have any luck with finding any kind firearm since then and had to resort to other, more risky means of defense.

 

“Do you remember how to use it?” Hyungwon asked with a look of unease in his eyes. He wasn't sure if he could trust someone who'd rarely used a gun to have one. But Changkyun just nodded and assured the older that he'd be fine with it.

 

With that the two decided to head out, exiting through the front doors of the library instead of the sunroof (which to Changkyun was a little strange given that he's only used the sunroof as his means of entering and exiting the library). Since Hyungwon had keys to the entire place that he found when he first got there it made it easier to leave and enter instead of going through the sunroof every time. “Let's just hope that if people pass by they don't go to the roof like you did.” the taller said jokingly as they made their way to the fences. “Since _somebody_ broke it and all.”

 

Though Changkyun failed to detect the humor behind his words and felt a bit of guilt at that, “Sorry, but I was desperate.” he admitted sheepishly, gaining a chuckle from the older.

 

“I was joking. Don't take it personally.” Hyungwon said, ruffling the shorter’s hair. “Honestly, I would have done the same thing had the front doors not been open when we got there.”

 

When they reached the fences, Hyungwon handed Changkyun a pair of thick gloves, “Here, these will help with the barbed wire. So that your hands don't get fucked up like the first night.” Changkyun felt relief wash over him at the sight of them, worried he'd have to suffer with gashes on the palms of his hands all over again. The first ones he got on the first night just barely healed over.

 

Changkyun slipped the gloves on before extending his arm out and opening and closing his hand, trying to move comfortably given how thick they were. With that the two started to climb the fence (Hyungwon having a pair of his own) and when they got to the top the two slowed down their movements drastically in hopes of keeping any other part of their bodies from being grazed by the barbed wire. When they successfully got to the other side they climbed down about midway before jumping off, landing on the feet smoothly. The two didn't move from their spots immediately, scanning the area around them before doing anything else.

 

The infected were weak to sunlight, they're already rotting bodies only quickening the process of decomposition when exposed to it so they were either out of sight and away from the sun’s rays or were slow to move. From the looks of it there were a very small number of them just limping around from what they could see - Changkyun could count the exact amount on just one hand. There were also rotting bodies laying across the floor but the two knew better from experience - just because they seemed dead and unmoving, didn't mean they always were. One can spring up into action the second it smelled humans within a certain reach of them, so it was better to keep a distance anyways.

 

Once they were able to get a read of the situation and a mental map of what they're safest route would be, Hyungwon explained, “There's a small convenience store just two blocks down and to the right, it's the closest place with food around, we'll go there, okay?“ he looked at the younger who nodded in response. “Just stay close and follow me. And don't make a sound either.”

 

The younger nods and quickly says, “I'll watch your back,” to Hyungwon. He felt the need to say it out loud in case the older still was iffy about having him around.

 

Changkyun barely missed the way Hyungwon’s tense shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. The older wouldn't admit it outloud, but those simple words were enough to make him feel better. Since they'd jumped the fence Hyungwon has been nothing but stiff limbs and tense shoulders. After a month and some within the library, being out seemed all the more terrifying since he's had a taste of safety. Having Changkyun beside him and be supportive like so was really comforting to the older. After traveling with nothing but his friends, Hyungwon wasn't sure if he'd be able to do this on his own and was secretly grateful to have Changkyun there with him.

 

Hyungwon nods in acknowledgement before turning around and leading the way with slow and careful steps. The taller male had a knife in hand, holding it in front of him and close to his chest, ready to use when needed. Usually he'd be holding his pistols given that it's his preferred weapon, but knew that the sound it'd let off would only attract more infected to their location if they were to use it and that's something both wanted to avoid. A silent kill if needed was ideal in order to keep themselves safe. Changkyun mimicked his actions, taking out his own knife from its holster and holding it tightly between both hands, pointing it downward towards the ground.

 

Hyungwon carefully maneuvered their way through the streets, steering clear of any infected or rotting corpse laid about down the same path. If there was one directly ahead of them they'd slowly shift towards the other end of the street. If there were two on each end they'd walk through the middle of the street. Any path that was avoiding of infected was the preferred choice.

 

After reaching the two block mark, Hyungwon halted to a stop and cursed under his breath. Being directly behind Hyungwon, the younger  nearly ran face first into his back from the sudden stop. Changkyun looked up at the back of the older’s head in concern, “What's wrong?” he whispered before standing on his toes to look over Hyungwon’s shoulder.

 

Changkyun wasn't expecting anything when he looked, so when his eyes focused on about four infected humans feasting on a single human on the side of the road he felt his breath hitch in his throat. The person was a mess of torn flesh and exposed organs, and in the state they were in you couldn't even begin to identify anything about the person. Guessing from the state their body was in - how thick their spilled vibrant red blood was, the color of their skin that'd otherwise be a disgusting pale color, and how aggressively each infected tried to bite at anything they could on their breakfast - Changkyun could only assume that the person, whoever they were, had fallen victim to the infected just moments before they had arrived.

 

Changkyun felt bile rise in his throat at the sight and stumbled back a step. Trying to keep himself together, he pressed a hand over his mouth in a desperate attempt to keep himself from throwing up his breakfast. His legs trembled beneath him and he tried his hardest to not let them give out underneath him.

 

He'd seen other humans left to rot only _after_ an infected or two had their full. A dismantled body left to rot, blood dried on decomposing skin, open wounds left to never be tended to or to heal over. It gave off a sickeningly strong stench that always made his stomach churn with disgust with just a single whiff. He'd experienced this a number of times.

 

But to see the infected make their dinner out of someone was different. It wasn't the same as seeing someone already dead for who knows how long - an estimated time can be made by how fresh their skin looked. But to see them bite and tear at flesh, to _hear_ it be ripped apart by their teeth or bones shattering by their aggressive manhandling. And the smell. The fucking _smell_ was so much worse when fresh. Not because it gave off a worse smell or anything, nothing compared to the stench of human flesh left to rot, but because it was all so _fresh_ it was almost painful to take in. Dried blood gave off a gross, musty stench that Changkyun had unfortunately grown used to. But this, the metallic and coppery stench that came from the freshly spilled blood made him feel light headed and ill.

 

He would've collapsed right then and there had Hyungwon not brought him out of the daze he didn't realized he was in. The older male tightly grabbed his hand and pulled him into a nearby ally that was luckily free from the infected. From where they were, the four infected they saw with their dinner was out of sight. Hyungwon gently pushed Changkyun against the wall to keep him steady. His hands were on the younger shoulder and face, trying to keep him up. He looked like he was about to pass out.

 

“Changkyun. Changkyun, hey!” Hyungwon said with concern and urgency in his voice. He tried lifting the others head to look at him, “Hey, are you okay?”

 

Changkyun clenched his eyes shut and forced himself to nod before his hands found Hyungwon’s sides and gripped them with trembling hands. The younger leaned forward and pressed his forehead against the others chest before saying, “Y-yeah… I just… need a minute..”

 

Hyungwon couldn't help but worry about the other. Yes, the sight they stumbled upon was disgusting and horrid, it even made him want to turn around and give up on their goal for the day, but Hyungwon steeled himself against it and tried to continue. That is, until he noticed the state Changkyun was in. He had grown pale, hands pressed tightly against his mouth and nostrils. The younger stood on trembling legs that looked like they'd give out on him any second.

 

Part of Hyungwon wanted to be upset with Changkyun. Wanted to be angry at the fact that he was currently _slowing them down._ How long has this outbreak been around for now? And the younger was still queasy at the sight of blood? At the sight of another human being eaten? Yes, it was cruel and disgusting, but it was something that was constantly around them now, how could he not be even a little used to it? Changkyun’s little scene was keeping them from what they were supposed to do.

 

However, the other part of Hyungwon, the _stronger_ part of him, wanted to hold the younger until he felt better. After seeing his reaction, he couldn't help but consider Changkyun to be a bit innocent and naive and wanted nothing more than to protect that innocence. He found himself wanting to keep Changkyun from having to witness anything like that ever again. Because even Hyungwon had to admit that the sight of someone being eaten was not something anyone should ever have to witness.

 

One hand started to run through Changkyun’s brown hair in hopes of distracting him and easing away whatever he felt. The other moved to his shoulder, squeezing it gently as reassurance. “Take your time.” Hyungwon said in a soft voice, looking down at the younger’s head.

 

Changkyun wanted to. He really did. He wanted to stay there with Hyungwon for the rest of the day because, _fuck_ , everything he had just witnessed was awful. The sight of it all, the _sounds_ every bite elicited, the smell that was so strong even they were able to catch of a whiff of despite being a good distance away from them. Changkyun wanted nothing more than to forget about what they saw.

 

But he knew he couldn't. Knew he couldn't just stay with Hyungwon like this. Aside from still being outside the fences and away from their safe haven, they had a goal to accomplish today.

 

They needed food more than anything else. Changkyun couldn't let his weak stomach get in the way of that.

 

Taking a deep breath, he finally pulled his head away from Hyungwon’s chest and looked up into his eyes. Changkyun was surprised to see them holding a look of concern while staring back and he couldn't help the warm feeling wash over him at the sight of them.

 

“I'm fine now, thanks.” Changkyun gave him the smallest smile of reassurance.

 

“You sure?” Hyungwon asked, not entirely convinced. His hand was lingering on Changkyun’s shoulder.

 

However, the younger nodded and reluctantly pulled away from Hyungwon’s hold. “Yeah, I'm.. I'm really sorry about that..” he said almost bashfuly, turning his head away from the older. He had to admit that he felt a little embarrassed by his scene and even guilty about wasting time.

 

Changkyun was surprised to feel Hyungwon’s hands gently pat against the top of his head, “Don't worry about it. We can take another route if you'd rather avoid… _that._ ”

 

Changkyun could only find it in himself to nod. With that, Hyungwon started to lead the way in a different direction, the younger right behind. They walked for a few minutes before finally turning a corner. Just straight ahead, Changkyun could see the store that was their destination. This route took longer than what Hyungwon had planned, but they got to their destination nonetheless.

 

Quickly but as quietly as possible, they made their way towards it, entering through the back door. The door made a loud squeaking sound as the pulled it open, making their hearts pound from horror of being heard by zombies. They quickly walked inside and shut the door as to stop the noise as soon as possible, holding their breath as they looked around.

 

Nothing could be heard for a long minute, and the two finally relaxed. They let out the breath they were holding before looking around.

 

The convenience store was eerily dark, the sunlight from even outside doing very little to show the way. Despite the darkness, they can see the entire place had been vandalized, random snacks thrown on the floor, shelves of food thrown, the glass windows broken through. There were even signs of zombie invasions inside as well, streaks of dried blood visible on the ground and the smell of rotting bodies strong. Not only that, but it was unbearably hot in the store - the lack of electricity and the heat from outside making the store feel like an oven.

 

“Let's split up for now,” Hyungwon whispers, “Grab anything that seems edible and stuff it into your bag until it's full. Be careful of the infected if they're around, and yell for me if you're in trouble, got it?”

 

Changkyun nodded. “You too. Be careful.”

 

Hyungwon nodded before slowly making his way to one side of the store, gun in hand. Changkyun did the same, going to the opposite side of it with his own weapon in hand. As he moved, he grabbed anything he could see and stuffed it in the borrowed backpack. Being that this was a small convenience store, there were mostly snacks that were edible. However, Changkyun soon came to a canned food section and signed in relief. Although dieting should be the last thing in his mind in this post apocalyptic world, he didn't quite like the idea of living off chips and candies. Even canned beans and corn and such were better than this. He even found the canned fruit Hyungwon liked so much. He stuffed them all in his backpack, the weight of metal cans making the bag a lot heavier than before. But he forced himself to carry on, knowing that the more they had, the better.

 

Suddenly, he heard the loud noise of multiple objects crashing against the ground, making Changkyun wince.

 

“Hyungwon?” He quickly called, eyes widening in fear at the thought of the older being in danger. Placing his backpack on the ground as to have less weight on himself, he quickly followed the source of the noise.

 

The convenience store was by no means big, but running through it with the intense fear of his partner’s safety at risk made it feel big. If something happened to Hyungwon, he wasn't sure what he'd do…

 

He resisted the urge to call out to the other, despite wanting to do so so desperately. I'd he called on the attention of any nearby zombies, it wouldn't be good for either of them.

 

Turning the corner of one of the many shelves, he finally saw Hyungwon on the ground, body facing a corpse that laid sprawled across it. From where Changkyun was standing, he could tell that whoever was laying before Hyungwon was completely dead, body torn apart from being eaten alive. What Changkyun couldn't understand was why Hyungwon was immobile. Why he was staring at the body with a look of complete and utter horror on his face.

 

However, Changkyun didn't have time to think on it. He quickly noticed an infected making it's way towards Hyungwon who was still paralyzed in fear as he faced the dead body. Hyungwon wasn't reacting to the infected behind him at all, Changkyun had to move…

 

***

 

Hyungwon didn't want to separate from the younger, wanted to stay by Changkyun’s side, but knew it'd be much faster and easier to get any and all food if they separated. It was more dangerous - thus the reason he would've preferred to stay with the younger - but decided it'd be easier to part ways for the time being. The store wasn't big anyways, if they needed each other it wouldn't be hard to find or even call out to the other.

 

Hyungwon started to move, gun in hand as he snuck around. He looked in every and all directions in caution as he moved, grabbing anything that seemed edible and putting it into his bag. He found himself against the wall where all the fridges are, no longer operable from the lack of electricity. Despite it, he grabbed as many waters as he could, stuffing them in his bag. There wasn't much left, a clear sign that other people have been here to raid the store as well. There were many other soft drinks and juices in the store, and Hyungwon only allowed himself to get a few. Something he and Changkyun could indulge in when they were at the library.

 

He continued to move, eyes trained on the many fridges in case he spits more water.

 

From the corner of his eye, he noticed something sprawled on the ground and quickly turned to it, gun ready to shoot.

 

However, everything in his body froze and his eyes widened as he closely looked at the corpse on the ground. The body was had many open wounds from probably being eaten alive, all of them dried from countless days of being left in the heat. There were even maggots being born in the open wound, leaving Hyungwon a sick feeling in his stomach.

 

His heart began to pound hard in his chest, hands trembling as he took in the body on the ground. The condition of the poor soul who was eaten alive wasn't the worst part. Looking at their face, it was brutally scratched up, dried blood smeared all over the person's face.

 

Hyungwon’s legs finally gave out underneath him, dropping everything in his bag as he recognized the now beat up body. “Wonho…?” He said, eyes wide in horror and tears forming in his. His body felt unbearably numb as he looked at the body of his dear friend, yet he couldn't look away.

 

_You should've gone with him. This is your fault. Wonho is dead because of you. You killed Wonho._

 

Hyungwon’s mind was racing, his heart and chest felt so heavy, he couldn't even think about standing up right now. The rest of the world blurred around Hyungwon, completely forgetting where he even was as he stared into Wonho’s dull eyes. He couldn't even hear and see anything around them anymore as his world crumbled around him.

 

He knew that this happened. Know all along that something horrible must of happened to Wonho, but was completely avoiding the reality of the situation. Completely pushed those thought out of his head because he didn't know how he'd handle accepting his closest friends death. Instead he decided to give himself weak hope for his friends well being. And yet now he was faced with the truth, with the fact that he had tried so desperately to avoid.

 

Hyungwon was completely alone. Everyone he cared about was gone, his family, friends, the last person he thought he still had was now dead in front of him.He couldn't take it. He didn't want to be here. What was the point of continuing when he was _alone?_

 

He didn't deserve to continue living. He didn't _want_ to keep living. He glanced down at the gun he dropped only a few feet away. He could end it now. Quickly. He didn't have to suffer through this God forsaken world anymore. He could join Wonho and Shownu, his parents… he could end it all now…

 

“Hyungwon!” A voice suddenly called, breaking Hyungwon away from his thoughts. For a second, he didn't recognize the voice, wasn't sure who was calling for him until he felt movement behind him.

 

Hyungwon turned towards the source behind him, only to find someone pinning a zombie against the wall, stabbing it with a knife through its head. “Hyungwon! Snap out of it!” the person yelled.

 

Slowly, the world around Hyungwon slowly began to clear and he finally recognized the owner of the voice, “Changkyun…?” he finally whispered out.

 

The zombie in Changkyun’s hold went limp, a sign of its death. The younger pulled away, panting heavily as he stared down at the corpse, making sure it wouldn't jump up. Finally, he turned to Hyungwon, concern written all over his features.

 

“Hyungwon, are you alright?” Changkyun kneeled down beside Hyungwon, examining every part of his body for a sign of injury. When he found none, he had a look of relief on his face before he looked into Hyungwon’s tear stricken face. Hyungwon didn't even realize that he'd begun to shed tears until Changkyun began to wipe them away.

 

That's right. He wasn't alone at all. Not anymore at least. Changkyun was with him. He had someone to rely on. He wasn't completely alone…

 

Feeling slowly began to return to Hyungwon’s body before an overwhelming sense of sadness and relief hit him all at once.

 

He wasn't alone.

 

Changkyun was here.

 

Was here for him. To support him.

 

Hyungwon started crying again as Changkyun pulled him into his arms, running his hands through the older’s hair in a comforting manner. Trying to calm Hyungwon’s nerves, he whispered words of comfort to the other as he held him in his arms.

 

It took a long while for the older to calm down, but when he did he finally pulled away from the younger. He didn't say anything, not that Changkyun blamed him. Whatever had caused Hyungwon to be that way must have been bad and he didn't want to pry, especially not outside the safety of their library.

 

Changkyun pulled at Hyungwon’s hand, encouraging to get up, “Let's get home, yeah?”

 

Hyungwon stared up at Changkyun with wide eyes. That's right. He had a home. He had the library to return to with Changkyun. “Yeah…” He said in a small voice, forcing himself up.

 

The two quickly gathered their things to leave. The events that occurred in the store was in the span of only a few minutes, although to Hyungwon it felt like hours… Still worried about Hyungwon, Changkyun held onto his hand and pulled him along, making sure the older was okay. The two manage to get home without any problems, sneaking around any and all zombies successfully.

 

They quickly climbed the steel chained fence and made their way inside. Hyungwon placed his own bag of waters and snacks on the ground not even to bother putting it all away in their makeshift kitchen. He made his away towards the couch he'd made his bed and sat down, curling up into a ball and hugging his knees. He let his thoughts sort out, his heart still heavy with loss after finding Wonho’s body in the convenient store. He wanted to cry, wanted to let all his emotions just flow, but couldn't. Everything felt so numb.

 

Hyungwon felt the other side of the couch dip from the weight of someone sitting beside him. Changkyun, no doubt. He stayed quiet for a long moment, giving Hyungwon some time to think. If Hyungwon wanted to talk, he'll say something. Changkyun would be waiting right there until he was ready.

 

But he wanted to do something more. Something to help the older and show that he was there for support. Hesitantly, he reached out and slipped his hand underneath Hyungwon’s, interlacing their fingers and giving it a soft squeeze. Hyungwon didn't fight it, allowed Changkyun to hold his hand as he was lost in thought.

 

Finally, Hyungwon said, “Remember that friend of mine I told you about?” in the softest, most pain stricken voice Changkyun had ever heard. It hurt his heart to hear Hyungwon speak like so.

 

“Yes…”

 

Hyungwon didn't continue for a long moment, as if thinking of the best way to phrase his next words. “His name was Wonho, or at least that's what we called him. We'd been friends since high-school and we were always together. He was my best friend, always sticking by my side through thick and thin, I couldn't ask for a better friend… But now he's gone…”

 

It didn't take a genius to figure out that the body Hyungwon was staring at in the store was his friend. Hyungwon had a stronger stomach than the younger, could easily look at a corpse and not flinch. Yet this specific one paralyzed the older, so much so that he couldn't even hear anything around him. The corpse was none other than Wonho, Hyungwon’s closest friend.

 

Changkyun’s tightened his grip on Hyungwon’s hand, not able to fathom to horror of seeing one of the most important people in your life dead. Changkyun saw Wonho’s corpse as well, bitten up and bloody from being eaten alive. Changkyun can't understand what Hyungwon was going through, didn't want to try to understand. That was a horrible sight to see, something _nobody_ should ever have to witness.

 

“I'm so sorry…” Changkyun finally said. He knew that the older needed to hear more words of comfort, needed something to make him feel better. Changkyun wasn't the best at words at all, but he didn't like to see Hyungwon in this state… He pulled his hand away from Hyungwon’s before pulling his entire body against his in a tight hug, surprising the older with his actions. “I'm so sorry. You don't deserve to have lost someone like that, but just know that I'm here now. I'm here for you, and will continue to do so. It's only us now, Hyungwon, and I want to someone you can rely on. I'll always be here to help and support you, even if you don't want me to.”

 

Hyungwon eyes held complete and utter relief, tears making his eyes sparkle. “Thank you,” He whispered out, reaching out to hold Changkyun’s hand in his own. “Thank you so much.” Hyungwon raised his hand up to his face, planting a soft kiss on the back of his hand, “I'll always be here for you too, Changkyun. We only have each other now, so please rely on me too.”

  
Changkyun could feel his cheeks slightly burn from the kiss, heart racing. However, he smiled back and the older before nodded, “Of course.” He leaned down and planted his own kiss on Hyungwon’s forehead. “I'll protect you for the rest of my life, Hyungwon.”


End file.
